tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post440058004142201417..comments2023-09-22T06:02:50.818-07:00Comments on Seriously??... <i>Reeeally?</i>... Seriously?: Amanda Todd, Bullying, and Bullshit CommitteesStephanieChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-12647292456371090602012-11-04T12:15:56.128-08:002012-11-04T12:15:56.128-08:00@CarrieMarie - How narrow minded of me - I was sur...@CarrieMarie - How narrow minded of me - I was surprised to hear that the same happens at a Christian school... but kids are kids, no matter their religion, right? And parenting matters so much.<br /><br />Having repressed memories is very scary. I personally did about an awful event in my past. No one else knew. I didn't know. Then, about 3 years later, the memories came back one night after I saw something triggering on tv. It was truly awful. I'm not sure what decides when and if your brain thinks it's time to know. But for now, it's probably a blessing that you don't remember and can't remember.<br /><br />If you can carry on that way, it's probably best for you. Which makes me sad wondering what happened that was so bad that your brain is protecting you.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your story Carrie... I know it's hard. This post brought up a lot of awful things for a lot of people. Until this post, I didn't realize just how deeply the bullying affected me.<br /><br />Hugs back to you!StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-6044810701631566702012-11-03T20:59:15.453-07:002012-11-03T20:59:15.453-07:00I thought I had posted a comment when I first read...I thought I had posted a comment when I first read this post, but apparently not.<br /><br />I have no words of wisdom, as all the previous comments have said much what I think as well. I was bullied at my christian school and at church, tho thankfully my memories of school are more of the happy things than the mean. I can look back on the things I remember & compartmentalize. The scary thing for me is there are things i have no memories of which other ppl remember & won't even tell me details of bc they say I'm better off w/o those memories. I trust them & am even grateful that I don't have them! But every once in awhile, considering how aful some of the things I Do remember are, I wonder how awful these things had to be for my mind to protect me like that? <br /><br />And then I go back to being grateful I don't remember. I pray protection on my nieces & nephews, and try to teach them that it's never ok to be mean or make someone else feel bad. If parents & schools could focus on raising kids who care abt each other rather than only budgets & test scores... well, it would be a step in the right direction...<br /><br />*hugs* thank you for posting this! CarrieMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08748959131382797114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-81599295033478618162012-10-21T22:42:32.010-07:002012-10-21T22:42:32.010-07:00@Chris - Thank you for such complimentary, kind wo...@Chris - Thank you for such complimentary, kind words. This post hurts to think about, hurt to write, but brings a little comfort from the kindness of everyone else sharing their stories.<br /><br />You are so very right about it taking a toll on my own memories and emotions. I can't really explain how awful I've felt with all this. I can only imagine what Amanda Todd's family is feeling right now.<br /><br />These posts are rare. I just hope that people read this. That it makes someone pause, reflect, consider change. Then I look at my blogger stats and see the disgusting search terms that have brought people to this post, and it makes me regret posting it.<br /><br />I knew that the bullying impacted me, but I honestly don't think I realized <i>just how deeply it has affected all aspects of my life</i> until now. It's sad that such assholes could leave such an imprint.<br /><br />I'm sorry your experience was rotten, too. This just screams to me how unjust and how it's simply far too common. There needs to be punishment, and the law is too warped in my mind.<br /><br />I'm curious to know who from my past reads this blog. People who lurk and see my secrets - who judge me, laugh at me, take joy in my failures and struggles and never make their presence known. It's a risk, since my friends and family know who I am.<br /><br />I do so very appreciate when you and everyone above here take the time to comment. It helps me to feel connected to others and makes it feel worthwhile to share my stories, silly or serious.<br /><br />I'm sure it'll bite me in the ass one day.<br /><br />Thanks again, Chris.<br /><br />StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-24869653252618164282012-10-21T13:56:20.123-07:002012-10-21T13:56:20.123-07:00@Althea - It sucks you are in the midst of it, and...@Althea - It sucks you are in the midst of it, and that the bullies continue their work. And pathetic that the guidance counsellors don't do anything - or rarely, if they do.<br /><br />If you report it, you should be safe. Action should be taken. There should be consequences - hell, a criminal record.<br /><br />School policy needs to change, the law needs to change, and the penalties need to be severe and enforceable without delay.<br /><br />Thanks for commenting. StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-21929970542786571042012-10-21T13:39:48.444-07:002012-10-21T13:39:48.444-07:00And it is posts like these that I love the most on...And it is posts like these that I love the most on your blog. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the glitter T-Rex and airplane seat room doodles. But this? I don't know what you do for a living, but I know that you would make a damned good activist and policy maker. Your own experience, your infallible sense of empathy, and astounding, to-the-point articulation of what is at stake here make me wish you were sitting somewhere making decisions that would introduce actual change.<br /><br />I was also bullied in middle school, insults, name-calling, made-up stories behind my back, threats and all. And it feels so futile to say it out loud here, in the circle of people who already understand, when it's the bullies who don't seem to get it no matter how loud you scream. But it's the gender-based violence (perpetrated by both genders, just to be clear) that has my hackles up lately more than anything else. The fact that, the first time my body was touched in a sexual manner, it was a grope by an uninvited and pushed-off stranger, and not a caress. The fact that you are either a tight bitch or a whore, the schizophrenia of which will drive you insane because it masks the true nature of that kind of insult, which is to hurt indiscriminately but have you feel like it is based on something you *did*. I'm done with being sad, it just makes me mad.<br /><br />Please keep writing like this. I know it's hard and takes its toll on one's own memories and emotions, but you are so good at it.Ms. Faustushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03191744120373670081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-85450214569457747682012-10-21T12:06:06.901-07:002012-10-21T12:06:06.901-07:00It really is horrible, and it's true, no-one r...It really is horrible, and it's true, no-one really manages to 'solve' it. I have been bullied several times before but those people who bullied me still continue to do so to others. The really ridiculous thing is that at my school if you go to guidance about it, you are very rarely dealt with. It's shocking! xAltheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17089445713150822100noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-75264656911163264212012-10-20T13:41:24.750-07:002012-10-20T13:41:24.750-07:00@steph gas - Steph that is horrible. I don't e...@steph gas - Steph that is horrible. I don't even know what to say when you asked for help and sought help and you were shot down and further bullied by your psychotherapist. It's infuriating and must have deeply affected your sense of trust.<br /><br />I love the concept of counselling bullies because you KNOW that they are having their own issues at home if they think that acting the way they do is acceptable.<br /><br />And my heart breaks knowing that more people will die.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-16396579774236175642012-10-20T09:51:11.327-07:002012-10-20T09:51:11.327-07:00i was bullied throughout school. i was abused and ...i was bullied throughout school. i was abused and victimized by my own family members. i was called a pathological liar by a psychotherapist who was supposed to help me. when i told trusted adults about what was happening, they didn't believe me. <br /><br />it happens all the time. and i hate that it does. i had not heard about amanda, but we have had numerous cases like this down in the states too. schools need to start taking responsibility for teaching children things besides math and science. mandated reporting by adults needs to be enforced. children who report abuse need to be protected and granted immunity. children who abuse or bully other children need to be removed from the school and counseled before they can return to school.<br /><br />i worry how many young men and women will die before we figure this out.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00191250739548524094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-9595323755779404732012-10-20T04:27:37.498-07:002012-10-20T04:27:37.498-07:00@Mynx - I'm sorry, Mynx, I didn't mean to ...@Mynx - I'm sorry, Mynx, I didn't mean to bring up pain for you with this post. It's awful that you had to experience that as a child. It is such a gross violation of trust and innocence. The adults in our families are the very people who are meant to protect us.<br /><br />I'm glad to hear that your kids have not been too tormented. I have to hope that something will change, and soon, when it comes to bullying at school and cyber-bullying online. What is happening now is destroying kids and it's only getting worse here in Canada. Schools and the law MUST get tougher. They just have to.<br />StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-17377342560141279092012-10-20T01:52:43.827-07:002012-10-20T01:52:43.827-07:00This post bought me to tears and took me back to a...This post bought me to tears and took me back to a time when I was twelve. Yes I was bullied at school. I was shy, overweight, new kid, perfect target.<br />At 12 though, I was also taken advantage of by an older male family member. I was innocent, so trusting and the atention was wonderful. I can so understand how she was able to be manipulated.<br />With chldren of my own, it was always a constant fear that they would be subject to the same sort of bullying that I encountered. Happily their schools have always been very proactive and apart from a couple of minor issues (quickly sorted) their growing up has been mainly harrassment free.<br />Perhaps there is still hope that eventually, we will find a solution to the awfulness of bullyingnot displayedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637174135437423585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-60655294858829328042012-10-19T18:22:24.618-07:002012-10-19T18:22:24.618-07:00@pensive pumpkin - It's pretty disturbing know...@pensive pumpkin - It's pretty disturbing knowing that it's so widespread... so common. No wonder we can't get things done as adults, if this behaviour is allowed in childhood.<br /><br />I just read today of 8 girls being charged with criminal harassment at a high school in London, Ontario. Apparently their school DOES have an anonymous tip/reporting form exactly for things like that.<br /><br />If students could band together and report the awful treatment of their fellow students, perhaps it could improve. I think everyone is just so afraid that they will be the next target.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-44832430566789062462012-10-19T18:16:23.653-07:002012-10-19T18:16:23.653-07:00There are so many of us who were bullied. It'...There are so many of us who were bullied. It's sort of amazing to me still how cruel human beings can be.pensive pumpkinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02228801550471279348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-39161478492786199972012-10-19T11:59:46.487-07:002012-10-19T11:59:46.487-07:00@Michael Z. - I know - we can't be everywhere....@Michael Z. - I know - we can't be everywhere. It's disturbing and feels like a no win situation.<br /><br />If we can start putting harsh consequences in place for bullies - expulsion, removal, or some kind of serious legal consequence... I'd hope that something would help. But it's so rampant, it's so hard to monitor...<br /><br />I wish the non-bullies would help to report, record and share with the authorities when they witness bullying. If the good people stick together, there can be power in numbers.<br /><br />But there is no easy answer. That's why it's so sad and so hard.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, commenting and tweeting. I'd like to think that knowledge is power.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-82782646805727569612012-10-19T08:30:24.429-07:002012-10-19T08:30:24.429-07:00I am truly sorry that this was something you were ...I am truly sorry that this was something you were forced to deal with in your childhood/teenage years. <br /><br />I only heard about Amanda's story briefly. It's sad. I fortunately didn't deal with any bullying when I was in school but the fact of the matter is it's a very real, very tragic problem. And you're right. Something needs to be done. Just providing counsellors and medication (bullshit) and people to "vent" to is not enough. These sick kids find joy in tormnting their peers. I mean seriously... what kid waits after school, or at the mall, or in the neighborhood to bully another?? <br /><br />But how do we, as adults/teachers/parents/ be everywhere??Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-84857617909956713042012-10-18T21:00:44.249-07:002012-10-18T21:00:44.249-07:00@J. Day - Teasing hurts, too, especially when we a...@J. Day - Teasing hurts, too, especially when we are young, vulnerable and impressionable. It sucks to hear you went through it, too.<br /><br />Even just on this blog's comments, it's clear that bullying is rampant and has been extremely common for years. But I am damn scared that my future kids may have to experience what Amanda Todd did.<br /><br />Your last sentence is utterly perfect.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-19903117433127249102012-10-18T20:27:50.350-07:002012-10-18T20:27:50.350-07:00I had short periods of time that I was bullied. I ...I had short periods of time that I was bullied. I was teased often, but not always bullied. But I agree, all of that sticks with you. It's the bullies that need changing, not the kids being bullied. I fear for my future kids. Social media is only going to get worse. I feel bad for this girl. A promising young life taken by the worst kind of assholes.J.Dayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09211819677106829508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-88486338411167649102012-10-18T19:53:46.316-07:002012-10-18T19:53:46.316-07:00@Hey Monkey Butt - It is really awful. I can't...@Hey Monkey Butt - It is really awful. I can't imagine how her family feels, since they are still being taunted with horrible insults and images even now. So heartbreaking and unjust.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-20603091658874168912012-10-18T19:52:41.098-07:002012-10-18T19:52:41.098-07:00@L-Kat - I don't wish to exploit her suffering...@L-Kat - I don't wish to exploit her suffering or her story, but I had to talk. I am so sad and so angry.<br /><br />I still feel sick to my stomach even driving by a school. When the time comes that I will have to take my own kids to school, I think the flashbacks are going to be hard to manage.<br /><br />Thanks for commenting.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-2739655584088223232012-10-18T19:50:31.397-07:002012-10-18T19:50:31.397-07:00@Keith - I didn't get into the physical assaul...@Keith - I didn't get into the physical assault, but you are right. It goes beyond bullying. And bullying just seems to be the catchall term to say kids aren't being nice to each other.<br /><br />Which is quite the understatement here.<br /><br />Keith, I wish we tried this hard to make others happy. I appreciate everyone leaving a comment here on this. I have faith in you guys. And in my parents and my husband. I wish I could add more people to that list, but my bullies seem to outweigh the kind people.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-20544317087210269542012-10-18T19:44:29.011-07:002012-10-18T19:44:29.011-07:00@Leauxra - At times like this when the torment and...@Leauxra - At times like this when the torment and harassment continues after her death, it really makes me question in. I'm sorry you endured it, too.<br /><br />I can't seem to stop crying. The more I learn, the worse I feel.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-6224823628161666922012-10-18T19:27:59.794-07:002012-10-18T19:27:59.794-07:00Me, too. I was also terribly bullied in middle sc...Me, too. I was also terribly bullied in middle school. I can't even imagine if it were online, too. I simply have to believe that humans are better than this.Leauxrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16056708620380337471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-2098474857105464292012-10-18T19:15:52.360-07:002012-10-18T19:15:52.360-07:00How awful and sad. Bullying is always so awful! ...How awful and sad. Bullying is always so awful! I hate when it comes out lke this. My thoughts and prayers with her loved ones :/ Hey Monkey Butthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03876011642278169652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-34071361402320858892012-10-18T19:13:54.039-07:002012-10-18T19:13:54.039-07:00Oh Steph......I have no words. I wasn't aware...Oh Steph......I have no words. I wasn't aware of Amanda's story, but thank you for sharing. I've read more about it online after reading your post. How terribly sad. It breaks my heart. <br /><br />I was at home last weekend visiting my parents and I was walking my dog through the school yard. The playground brought back so many memories. I thought, "Kids are SO MEAN!"<br /><br /> Why is that? I don't have the answer, but I know that kids are so mean and school can be so tough. :( <br /><br />Thanks for posting this.<br /><br />L-Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13107278642765424614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-87575387911930577582012-10-18T19:10:53.148-07:002012-10-18T19:10:53.148-07:00I've been so sad reading about this, first tha...I've been so sad reading about this, first that she couldn't get the help she needed, and that the police could track these creeps down. I'm glad someone outed him, though it seems there are a couple guys being accused. I'm maybe not tracking the details as closely as I could. <br /><br />But you hit the nail on the head. Until the bullying stops, nothing else can really help. And bullying isn't the right word in her case at least, criminal harassment and assault are more like it. <br /><br />I think it's a shame that we all know so many ways to make other people unhappy, and actually act on a regrettably large number of them. Imagine if we put that much effort into making other people happy?Keithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09364395150014197905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8098330902228203979.post-47798107816860786982012-10-18T18:23:13.256-07:002012-10-18T18:23:13.256-07:00@Leauxra - I've put some screens in place to p...@Leauxra - I've put some screens in place to prevent haters and flamers from further disrespecting this topic.<br /><br />My husband first told me about Anonymous. I hope to hell that the bastards have to answer to this. Truly.StephanieChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01990131434281226939noreply@blogger.com