On many an evening walk, I noticed this small skunk that hangs around a nearby school.
He always lurks in the darkness, and me and the dog always beeline it to the other side of the boulevard/street/parking lot/postal code to avoid the stinkrafuge that his angry butt could potentially unleash upon my dog's face.
Then, one miraculous day, I walked the dog in the daylight.
And damned if I didn't come face to face with the smartest f_cking squirrel EVER. The little dark brown/black bugger has... wait for it... (are you waiting?
I hope so...
I like to build suspense...
While forcing you further down the page and closer to my advertisements...
I digress).
He's got a white tipped tail.
I've never seen anything like it, and today I finally caught that shit on digital imagery! I was so happy! Then I was all worried someone would come raging and screaming out of the school to tell me to delete my harmless photos, lest a child's face be caught in the image. (I made that mistake one day at work when I was at a daycare site. Holy shit. Privacy laws are intense, yo).
Again, I digress.
So I got thinking... he's got to be the world's smartest squirrel for deceiving all who approach him into thinking he's a skunk.
Then I remembered that most dogs are pretty dumb when it comes to caution and skunks, and most dogs I know pummel themselves face-first directly into skunk ass. They wouldn't really avoid something that appeared to be a skunk, anyway.
So that left me feeling more like it wasn't the smartest squirrel ever, but that, perhaps, I was just a relatively dumb dog-walker/blogger.
Either way, that shit is epic.
I can feel your judge-y eyes. But I tell you, smartest.squirrel.EVER.
________________________
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He always lurks in the darkness, and me and the dog always beeline it to the other side of the boulevard/street/parking lot/postal code to avoid the stinkrafuge that his angry butt could potentially unleash upon my dog's face.
Then, one miraculous day, I walked the dog in the daylight.
And damned if I didn't come face to face with the smartest f_cking squirrel EVER. The little dark brown/black bugger has... wait for it... (are you waiting?
I hope so...
I like to build suspense...
While forcing you further down the page and closer to my advertisements...
I digress).
He's got a white tipped tail.
My eyesight + usual darkness = SKUNK. |
I've never seen anything like it, and today I finally caught that shit on digital imagery! I was so happy! Then I was all worried someone would come raging and screaming out of the school to tell me to delete my harmless photos, lest a child's face be caught in the image. (I made that mistake one day at work when I was at a daycare site. Holy shit. Privacy laws are intense, yo).
Again, I digress.
So I got thinking... he's got to be the world's smartest squirrel for deceiving all who approach him into thinking he's a skunk.
Then I remembered that most dogs are pretty dumb when it comes to caution and skunks, and most dogs I know pummel themselves face-first directly into skunk ass. They wouldn't really avoid something that appeared to be a skunk, anyway.
So that left me feeling more like it wasn't the smartest squirrel ever, but that, perhaps, I was just a relatively dumb dog-walker/blogger.
Either way, that shit is epic.
It's almost like a Sasquatch sighting, but fuzzier and slightly less reliable. |
I can feel your judge-y eyes. But I tell you, smartest.squirrel.EVER.
________________________
Awww, that's cool. Have you seen black squirrels? They're pretty cool looking too...
ReplyDeleteI love squirrels.
ReplyDeleteThis really cracked me up. Great post.
ReplyDeleteWe dont get squirrels or skunks.
ReplyDeleteI have seen a koala sometimes near our house and that is exciting.
But never when I have a camera handy
My New Blog – “Lizard Happy”
Not too far from where I live is a town that's famous for its white squirrels. Not nearly as camouflagey and smart as your skunk squirrel, though.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ci.olney.il.us/Visitors/WhiteSquirrel.htm
I generally avoid squirrels anyway, but I would totally steer clear of a skunk-looking squirrel.
ReplyDelete