Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Smartest F_cking Squirrel - EVER.

On many an evening walk, I noticed this small skunk that hangs around a nearby school.

He always lurks in the darkness, and me and the dog always beeline it to the other side of the boulevard/street/parking lot/postal code to avoid the stinkrafuge that his angry butt could potentially unleash upon my dog's face.

Then, one miraculous day, I walked the dog in the daylight.

And damned if I didn't come face to face with the smartest f_cking squirrel EVER. The little dark brown/black bugger has... wait for it... (are you waiting?

I hope so...

I like to build suspense...

While forcing you further down the page and closer to my advertisements...

I digress).

He's got a white tipped tail.

My eyesight + usual darkness = SKUNK.

I've never seen anything like it, and today I finally caught that shit on digital imagery! I was so happy! Then I was all worried someone would come raging and screaming out of the school to tell me to delete my harmless photos, lest a child's face be caught in the image. (I made that mistake one day at work when I was at a daycare site. Holy shit. Privacy laws are intense, yo).

Again, I digress.

So I got thinking... he's got to be the world's smartest squirrel for deceiving all who approach him into thinking he's a skunk.

Then I remembered that most dogs are pretty dumb when it comes to caution and skunks, and most dogs I know pummel themselves face-first directly into skunk ass. They wouldn't really avoid something that appeared to be a skunk, anyway.

So that left me feeling more like it wasn't the smartest squirrel ever, but that, perhaps, I was just a relatively dumb dog-walker/blogger.

Either way, that shit is epic.

It's almost like a Sasquatch sighting, but fuzzier and slightly less reliable.

I can feel your judge-y eyes. But I tell you, smartest.squirrel.EVER.

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  1. Awww, that's cool. Have you seen black squirrels? They're pretty cool looking too...

  2. This really cracked me up. Great post.

  3. We dont get squirrels or skunks.
    I have seen a koala sometimes near our house and that is exciting.
    But never when I have a camera handy

    My New Blog – “Lizard Happy”

  4. Not too far from where I live is a town that's famous for its white squirrels. Not nearly as camouflagey and smart as your skunk squirrel, though.

  5. I generally avoid squirrels anyway, but I would totally steer clear of a skunk-looking squirrel.


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