Thursday, October 21, 2010

Have You Ever??

Peed in the shower? At the gym? While wearing socks?
Photo Credit

Nah, me neither.

Absolutely had to use your finger to get something out of your nose that wouldn't budge? Wiping it on a Kleenex, of course, and washing your hands afterwards.

No, I know, who would do that? Ewww.

Sharted your pants, either because you held it in too long, surprised yourself with the speed/forcefulness of air, or forgot you had that burrito yesterday?

Me? No, never, that's just... um... wrong.

Been so drunk in your teens that you peed in the bar line-up, were denied entry to the bar, then defiantly told the bouncers that you were NOT drunk and that you felt JUST fine and did NOTHING wrong?

Wow, would that ever be embarrassing. Good thing none of us have ever done something so foolish... right?

Freshened up your your lady bits with Kleenex that had unknowingly come into contact with glitter from a Halloween make-up kit in your purse, immediately before having a pelvic exam?

Noooo, me neither. Could you imagine the look on the doctor's face? And what my your response would be when you have no idea of what is going on?

Nearly screamed out loud because you thought there was a spider beside you, in your peripheral vision, only to realize it was a shadow/shrub/your sunglasses/the car next to you in traffic/nothing at all?

No, I would never do that. That's just... heh... silly.

Ever wonder how many people would have to be on their phones, click over to someone else on call waiting, and keep having this patten continue until the telecommunications systems burst into flames all over the world?

No? Alone on this one?

Had to clean a co-worker's poop off the toilet bowl, absolutely horrified, repulsed, disgusted and near sick, simply so the co-workers that come in after you don't think that YOU made that nasty mess?

Okay... seriously, I have done this several times and it makes me wanna vomit. One guy in our office... I do not KNOW WHAT he eats, but he needs to switch something up and cut down on his glue intake.

Okay, that's all she wrote for now. Had to bump down the depressing post below (though in truth I am not feeling much better and the battle continues). Pin It Now!


  1. um, i have done such a high percentage of those i'm shocked AT MYSELF!
    you know what i ALWAYS think is a spider? hair. i have flailed my arms and slapped myself in the side of the neck to fend of venomous hair more times than i care to admit.
    boo for still feeling crumby! :(

  2. Get the hell out of my head, Stephanie.

  3. *jess - hair! I forgot hair! That might be the most embarassing of all the selections, but it is so true. Better to be safe and crazy then spider-bitten, right??

    *vickilikesfrogs - hi you! Have missed ya! I promise, I will leave your head once I have extracted all good blog fodder. Only then. :-P

  4. okay, the co-worker toilet thing is just gross, and scarily universal. don't we work w/ ADULTS? yeesh.

    hope you feel better soon. kick your doc's butt, that'll make everything better. : )

  5. well first of all, stop spying on me! lol @jess omg i do the same thing all the time, so freaking funny!! also, just wanted to say that I LOVE peeing in the shower and I don't care what anyone says, there is nothing more freeing than being able to just stand that and let it go, not caring where it goes, cause the water will get it!

    check out my blog @

  6. haha nothing wrong with any of those things ... well OK ... some

    hope you feel better

  7. *carmar76 - i don't understand... we were all potty trained at some point. How is this commonplace? Why?? WHYYYY???

    And I need an intimidating mob with me to take to the doctor's. But first I need an appointment. It is so ridiculous it hurts. Literally and figuratively.

    *AmberLaShell - woot woot!! Freedom to pee! Look at your cajones for admitting it. Yayyy Amber!

    *Martina - okay... maybe SOME... lol. Thanks for the kind words.

  8. True THAT! And - appointment? What's that? Just go in (possibly w/ the intimidating mob) and walk back like you belong there. Search til you find your doctor. Then commence the kicking. : )

  9. *carmar76 - I wish I could. It might actually take waiting it out in the original tummy doc's office until they see me... and even then I don't feel hopeful he will help. I'll have to bring BF who is calm, rational, and can advocate for me when I am crying in the fetal position on their waiting room floor.....

  10. dinner just got spoiled...well I laffed so much risotto came outta my nose....i have done/witnessed quite a high percentage of the more!
    There's a post somewhere i did about dumb shit but i forgot where i put it...


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