|Awwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah, baby..... Image Credit|
I realized yesterday that I have a love/hate relationship with those little cotton-tipped buggers. On one hand, they are a necessity unless you are a ear-waxless person (you freak!) or you want yellow chunks of shizz in your ears (like my classmate Clayton did in elementary school... I remember seeing it while riding the bus one day and swearing up and down I would NEVER let my ears look like that).
Fast forward 3 years. I was maybe 11. This would be the year before the lovely, sparkly graduation dress. My family doctor told my mother and I that you should never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. He comically tried to demonstrate.
I felt a little embarrassed for him.
Nothing that big would FIT in your ear, dumbass (alas, his sarcasm was lost on me. ON ME. I know, it's just... I know).
I have a new appreciation for the dog and the sweet spot. Screw the doctor (actually, I heard his nurse did just that, he ruined his marriage, and had to leave town.... but I digress).
There is a fine line between reaching in your ear deep enough to feel like you are cleaning that mother-effer out all street-sweeper style, then there is the part where you hit a drum or a dangerously-easy-to-puncture-area (or something that hurts like crazy).
My first reaction is to draw back in pain, but depending on the angle of that damn Q-tip, ya gotta be cautious. Every time I start fishing around in there, I always feel über-confident and cocky that I will outsmart the bad-ear-drum part. I'm sitting at about 30%.
|Creatures as found in their natural habitat...... Image Credit|
Who else, on earth, can you honestly say, would wake up and see this as a challenge? A task to be mastered - overcome? I am so special. I know Mom, I bet you are so proud!
So far I am not winning this war. And no-name Q-tips... well, my friends, you are just ASKING for it.
This is so random, yet I felt compelled to post.
Wield those puppies carefully, my friends. The Q-tip is a wiley beast. Best not to mess with it.
Until next time of course, then you HAVE to win..... Pin It Now!