Friday, October 17, 2014

An Actual Conversation

I recently returned from a short trip home to Ontario.

My father, The Dadda, enjoys a good medium roast coffee. I have come to learn that I prefer my coffee sort of kick me in the balls with flavour and aroma in the morning, and that this can only be achieved by a dark roast.

A really dark roast. Like, pissing blood and shooting venom dark roast. Any other sleep-deprived, coffee-loving Mammas out there probably understand this.

While clearly dependent on the go-juice now, I have also seemingly developed a sensitivity to it. My thyroid was AAAAAAALL sorts of out of whack, which likely worsened my caffeine sensitivity. I have to find the happy balance between just enough coffee to keep me awake and keep my junk bruised, and too much coffee where my heart does a rumba all on its own, and I end up feeling weak and tired from too much of the stuff. Like my adrenaline has spent itself by 10am. (Let's hope I never have to run from a bear at 10:05am).

So I need stronger, and less of it. And I bastardize that shit with Coffeemate and a 1/2 teaspoon of sugar, so I'm not doing my ass any favours with more than 2 cups a day.

Visual approximation of me without coffee

Anyway, I digress.

Once we got home, The Hubs was sitting on the couch with Baby D. (Well, she was reprogramming his computer while he was looking at the TV, albeit momentarily). I said "I realized that I missed my Keurig while we were away".

(I am a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, coffee brewer, so my coffee machine has allowed me to like stuff at home again, thank Jebus with Baby D and the cost of Starbucks!).

And "I missed my dark roast".

The Hubs replied, with EXTREME enthusiasm in his voice.

"You missed your dark roast, and you think you missed your period while we were away?!?!"

Me: *sigh*

"No, hon. My Keurig. I missed my Keurig."

The Hubs: *extreme disappointment, almost-visible-floor-drop-of-smile*


Yeah. Have I mentioned I love dark roast coffee? And having only one child?
Just making sure.

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  1. I love doing shit like that. Messing with people's heads with what I say. Wait, you did it by accident. Half points, sorry. I love me a good dark roast as well. A few weeks ago on #coffeechat someone mentioned a super dark roast called Deathwish coffee. I haven't had the nerve to order it yet. You can get the little Keurig cups from them. Ooops, I've said too much.

    Re: the thyroid thing. You really must go get it checked out, since it can lead to more serious problems.

    Plus, Freudian was the first thing that came to mind. Just saying.

  2. While I am with you on messing with people, around his joint childbearing is off limits (see smile drop above, lol).

    Death wish sounds both perfect AND delicious. I've tried Dark Magic and it is ok, the decaf is good. What's coffee chat? Yup, I'm good with the thyroid, have seen the doc. Just levelling out now.

    Freud what now? 😕

    Enjoy your bike ride!

      8am Sunday's your time. An hour of twitter chat about coffee. I haven't made it last few times what with one thing and another, and tomorrow is iffy. Search #coffeechat and you'll find it. Everybody welcome. But then, you're a mom with a busy life. I somehow suspect that if you had an hour to do as you wished, sleep would probably top the list.

  3. I'm not sure how Dark Roast coffee (the only way to go) relates to missing your period but I guess if you've got baby cravings you hear it in everything. I've never gone to the Keurig because my two and three pots a day habit would get way too expensive fast.


I get far too excited when new comments come in here...