Saturday, December 24, 2016

Christmas Eve

Hello out there again.

For the first time in... I think forever? I'm alone on Christmas Eve Day. It's been since about 11am. It's weird.

Baby D and the Hubs had a plan to try something new today, but I had already arranged to have a Christmas gift installed on our non-carseated car.

I miss them, but hope they are having lots of fun!

This time of year the true spirit of Christmas has really hit me. I'm so grateful for Baby D. She is everything that is right with the world... her joy, her zest for life, her exuberance, her open heart, her shine. She just SHINES. Even in the face of an emotional mama, in the face of some of the shit out in the world.

She SHINES, and I'm so proud of her.
Proud to be her mama, and so happy that she is in my life.
So happy that the Hubs is such a rock solid Daddy and partner.

I still wonder how the poor bastard wasn't snapped up by some other brilliant University student back in the day. I feel like my life has blossomed and flourished with his caring heart.

I bitch sometimes about perceived misgivings, or little disagreements we have sometimes. But on the whole, it's pretty damn amazing.

And Baby D has a bright future. We both want the best for her... I want that positivity to carry her on. I don't want the patriarchal world to tell her she matters less as a girl, or that she isn't worthy. I don't want her to think her looks/face/body are what defines her. I want her to know that her strong heart, capable body and mind are what make her HER. Make her valuable and special.

That she can do whatever she puts her mind to. That she can accomplish anything with enough practice and patience (and maybe some luck, too). That she can't be kept down, or silenced, or be bullied into acquiescence. I want her to know that, and feel that, and believe it with her whole being.

I love her with my whole being.

We have stuff under the tree and we donated this year. I feel really lucky that we can do that. But it's what's between these walls every day of the year that matters the most.

Shit gets hard. I get sick. Sometimes I'm sicker than others. But the love remains the same.

Merry Christmas.


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  1. Merry belated Christmas Steph, hope it was fantastic

    1. Thanks so much Andrea! They were gone for over 9 hours... too quiet around here. I hope you had a really good holiday.


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