Holy hell, Batman.
I want to take you back in time for a moment. Imagine a young,lethargic, hopeful, bedwetting me.
I was young (once), and I wanted to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend (who may or may not have been a car thief, who am I to judge?) brought over a movie to watch.
ME: Neato Bandito!
And I was invited to watch with them.
ME: Wowzers! Totes cool!
And so I watched. And I regret that shit to this day. The movie?
I checked every ceiling corner of every room that I entered for at least the next decade. No word of a f_cking lie. I would get goose bumps and freeze if there was even one small spider in a corner.
Eventually, I grew to be able to squash the smaller ones with a shoe or kleenex box. Go ahead and snicker at the overkill, but I am NOT taking any risks with bites or rogue spiders skittering across my shaking hands!
Then we moved to BC. To a house with a lot of cracks and nooks and crannies.
And this:
Holy hell, Batman.
My mind's immediate interpretation of the scenario:
Screaming ensued.
My dogs are TERRIFIED of me right now.
I don't know how I am gonna do this... and once the rain comes...
*shudder*
______
Pin It Now!
I want to take you back in time for a moment. Imagine a young,
I was young (once), and I wanted to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend. Said boyfriend (who may or may not have been a car thief, who am I to judge?) brought over a movie to watch.
ME: Neato Bandito!
And I was invited to watch with them.
ME: Wowzers! Totes cool!
And so I watched. And I regret that shit to this day. The movie?
SOMEONE GRAB THE RAID!!!! Don't let the pretty pastels fool you. This movie has scarred me for life. (Image via) |
I checked every ceiling corner of every room that I entered for at least the next decade. No word of a f_cking lie. I would get goose bumps and freeze if there was even one small spider in a corner.
Eventually, I grew to be able to squash the smaller ones with a shoe or kleenex box. Go ahead and snicker at the overkill, but I am NOT taking any risks with bites or rogue spiders skittering across my shaking hands!
Then we moved to BC. To a house with a lot of cracks and nooks and crannies.
And this:
"Good morning! How are we doing today? Gonna have some cereal are you? Yes? Let me scare the shit out of you and reduce your appetite!" |
Holy hell, Batman.
My mind's immediate interpretation of the scenario:
"Grrrrrrr RARRRR! THTHSSSS! Rawr, Rassum, Frassum, RALARRAGHSHFGHG! Heeey... nice toaster." |
Screaming ensued.
My dogs are TERRIFIED of me right now.
I don't know how I am gonna do this... and once the rain comes...
*shudder*
______