Wedding Wire is full of shyte.

So, when I was a stressed out bride, I was searching all over the place trying to find reputable, real-person reviews of hair and make-up places, DJs, etc., so I could get the real scoop on services out there.

The best review is an honest one, so that is what I sought out.

There are a few websites that claim to offer real reviews on vendors, DJs, caterers, hair stylists and make-up artists, and pretty much ANYTHING you could possibly think of that you might want at your wedding.

We didn't go over the top. We tried to keep costs reasonable. I read quite a few sites, but found a lot of Ontario vendors on WeddingWire.com. You would have thought this was a good thing. I thought so, too. I learned fairly quickly that this wasn't the case.

I stressed about my hair and make-up, like any vain bride is wont to do. I didn't want to look like I was covered in spackle, but at the same time, I kind of wanted to be covered in spackle so as to hide the innumerable flaws on this mug-o'-mine.

I looked around. I debated. I contacted, and found that the top two I liked the most were already booked for the Thanksgiving long weekend.

Then I came across Mobile Makeovers. It looked pretty snazzy, with the "before" and "after" pictures where ordinary normal women appeared glamorized and beautified with magic.

It never occurred to me until later that there ARE things like Photoshop and sneaky marketing. DUH.

I went with my mom. I paid a deposit on May 3, 2011 for me and my ladies via Paypal to Mobile Makeover's owner, Alexandra. A while later, in September, I went for a trial run.

DEAR GOD WOMEN, ALWAYS TRY THE TRIAL RUN.

This is my face without make-up on a given day:

Dorky sexpot? No... not really. Moving on...

I have to say that Alexandra was nice enough and polite during the trial. But when I asked for a pale green eyeshadow, she didn't have it. She said she would use something close. Apparently that means PURPLE eyeshadow. I wanted a light blush. Didn't have that either.

Also? I sat in a room without the lights on or the blinds fully open, while she painted on the foundation. I cannot EMPHASIZE ENOUGH that light is required in order to see what the hell you are doing! In any situation! Unless you're working a dark room!

And after Mobile Makeovers finished my make-up in an unlit room, this is what I looked like:

WTF? Shiny. Waxy. Purple-y.

I was smiling because I hadn't seen myself yet.

Now, I know some folks prefer a more dramatic look. I, however, was not SEEKING the whore/streetwalker look for my wedding. It took all I had not to cry when I looked in the mirror. At this point, time was running out, and there was no freakin' way that I was letting Mobile Makeovers do my face.

My face after I got out to the car:

BOO, motherf_cker. Pretty natural, as requested, right? I really like how it looks like there is a dark circle of makeup around both eyes, top and bottom.

My husband thinks I look good without make-up. I didn't think he'd be pleased that I looked like a $5 whore. I figured I was worth AT LEAST a solid $250.

I hadn't wanted him to see what style my hair would be, but me and mom decided we had to stop at his work to show him just how... er... um... PRETTY? I looked.

He actually laughed. And he's a very polite fellow. I think I warranted about a two dollar coin at this point.

I ended up panicked the same day at the Keora Aveda salon in Burlington, Ontario begging the make-up artist Ashley F. to help me, and asking her if all wedding make-up had to be that thick and that poor.

Thank goodness she was awesome. She gave me stuff to wash my face and redid everything. On the day of the wedding, she went above and beyond and I was thrilled with how patient, kind and GOOD at her job she was.

Ashley F. was fantastic. The lipstick choice was my own (I bought it at Sephora two days before) and regrettably more peach than I wanted, but that was alllll me. Ashley was such a pro.

Here's the great part. I paid Mobile Makeovers a deposit, as well as for the trial run. I felt that I had a moral obligation to share my experience with other brides because.. well, holy shit, those photos speak for themselves.

I posted my review to WeddingWire.com ... remember them?

Turns out that the owner of Mobile Makeovers disputed my review and said that I had never done business with her and that I was not telling the truth.

'SCUZE ME?
The F_CK??

So I sent WeddingWire.com my screen shots of my PayPal transfer, the photos of the make-up, and forwarded the email threads from Mobile Makeovers.

They said the merchant still disputed it.

THEN, Mobile Makeovers sent me an email begging me to take down my review. She said that she would refund my money if I would take it down. I felt that was wrong, because a customer should be able to hear ALL experiences, not just the good ones.

I may have added my own tag line up there in blue.

Turns out WeddingWire.com didn't want to upset her, so they pulled my review, even though I have all of the proof to back it up. So while Mobile Makeovers tried to bribe me, turns out WeddingWire.com just needed to call me a liar and the review was gone.

So, world, consider this my review of WeddingWire.com and Mobile Makeovers in the Toronto area of Ontario.

EDIT: Just found this on WeddingBee where other brides have had the same experience. Weddingwire.com is full of shit. Look elsewhere!

I also had something not complimentary with my experience with Rockin' Robin DJ service out of Hamilton, Ontario, and a similar thing happened. Except I just got the notice a few weeks ago that I was "lying" once again, since apparently the vendor hadn't logged into his WeddingWire.com account for some time.

So, if you are looking for legitimate poor experiences to base your wedding vendor choices on, I highly recommend that you look somewhere else. You are not being given the entire picture, as long as the business/vendor challenges anything they don't like.

Happy weddings.

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Day 3 Cross Canada: Thunder Bay, Ontario to Winnipeg, Manitoba

The next morning after the stair incident (and subsequent damn luckiness that no dog or person sustained any broken bones), we had to get Schultz back down the stairs.

We both showered that morning in overwhelming anxiety, and loaded our continental breakfast plates up with dread and a serving of intense fear. (Okay, okay, that might have been me. I think the Hubs might have actually had muffins and yogurt).

By the grace of Northern Ontario's angry Moose Gods, we somehow managed to get him down and out of the stairwell, safely to the boulevard to pee, and into the SUV.  A group of bikers made many comments/references about making sure we had control of him. Another man wanted to approach our Dane (fully decked out in a cage muzzle, remember), but mentioned something about the smaller dogs around us being Schultz' breakfast.

We headed out for the long, loooong, loooooong boring drive to Winnipeg.

I think this was to indicate we crossed a time zone in Winnipeg. Either that, or I am passed out at the wheel. The latter is the more likely scenario.

We hit so much construction - a Provincial highway improvement initiative translated into more areas than I can count that were reduced to one lane. One lane in total. So one side of the road would be given a green light, and we got to sit, idle and enjoy all the fumes surrounding us in the beauty of nature.

The sign holder wouldn't make eye contact, but would carelessly swing the sign back and forth, sometimes flipping it to slow, simply because she wasn't paying attention. Pretty dangerous/confusing, dumbass.

No, we're not in England, we're in the only open lane on Hwy #1 in Northern Ontario during the season between spring and fall: construction.

Just when I thought we had reached the end of the long day, it turned out that we got to sit through EVEN MORE construction along the city streets in the 'Peg. I was ready to snap. People cutting in, cutting me off, sitting. Waiting. Seething.

I've had enough of these motherf_cking cars, on this motherf_cking road: my summation of my emotions of having to drive an additional, unplanned hour after a full and tiring day.

We headed to the home of some of Hubs' relatives who were kind enough to offer their yard and home for a pit stop/run/stretch/dinner/hotel break for a few hours for the evening. They ordered vegetarian gluten-free pizza!! They even played with the dogs outside and let us do laundry there, which was so appreciated. (Trust me - when I am stressed, I "stress sweat", and it's an ENTIRELY different universe of stink. Potent enough to kill vampires.)

Sharing a drink, or using this bowl as a chin rest. Hard to tell.

The dogs were once again fairly well behaved, until the mosquitoes started to swarm us. From there we moved inside, where Ella tried to steal all the toys of the resident dog, and Schultz bumped into furniture and seemed generally out of sorts and stressed.

Background: We knew that Schultz' vision was getting poor. We knew he had trouble seeing some things, usually in low light. But as stuff was moved out of the house (before the drive), he started walking into light coloured walls (occasionally, not constantly) where large, dark pieces of furniture used to sit. Again, I thought it was worse because of the low light in the room at the time, but I knew it wasn't a good thing.

Then add in to the equation his stair terror. Add in falling off a low deck because he didn't know where the stairs were. Him stressed out in a strange house... not because of the noise or the people... but because we realized that he couldn't see most of it, if not all of it.

As he hunkered down once again, terrified to go over two small wooden stairs to the exterior door in an unfamiliar building, the gravity hit us that he must actually be blind. Really and truly blind.

I know there are bigger issues out in the world. I know there is unbelievable human and animal suffering around the globe. I most certainly get caught up and overwhelmed in my own life, but I do realize that major, awful things are happening right now in the world.

That being said, in that moment, we realized just how scared and how fragile our little fur baby was. His memorization of our old house hid how bad his vision was. Our vet explained a few months earlier that he had cataracts and that his pupils were fairly dilated, trying to allow as much light in as possible.

The blue-green sheen in his eyes was showing us the truth all along.

But when he trembled and pulled back when four of us tried to coax him down the stairs, it really became real. I know I have a flair for the dramatic, but it felt like my heart was breaking right then and there in Winnipeg. A part of me knew it was inevitable, but I really didn't think it had progressed as badly as it had.

With the help of the Hubs' family, area rugs were moved to provide traction for him (Schultz, not the Hubs), peanut butter was brought out, and kindness was showered on him as we tried to lift his 140 pounds over those two stairs.

S & S - If you are reading this, thank you for your patience and kindness.

We made it back to our Winnipeg hotel in good time, as traffic had cleared and we avoided construction en route. I was able to keep the tears at bay until we were in our SUV.

I cried for him, for his fear, for not being able to fix it or console him enough. I cried for my Hubs, who has such a bond with Schultz, because I could tell his heart was breaking, too. I cried remembering how hard it was in Scooby's senior years. I cried remembering the difficulties our blind cat (Mr. Grey) had when he was with us. I cried with fatigue, with hope, with sadness, with helplessness.

We got to the hotel, and I unloaded while the Hubs watched the dogs. I snapped at Ella. I snapped at the Hubs. I was mad at myself. And then the angry turned into what it really was - sadness and fear/anxiety, masquerading as outward anger. I cried on the hotel room floor beside Schultz, with Hubs sandwiched between us.

Everything is darkest before the dawn.


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