I know I wow you all with stories of dog doo, my exploits of staying awake past 11pm, and my fear of Walmart employees smoking beside the propane machine, but I have news for you.
Apparently, I am LOADED.
And not loaded off of Skinny Girl Sangria. No, my dear friends, not THAT good kind of loaded.
I mean, I clearly must make huge bank. Be rolling in dough. I think I should be wiping my butt with twoonies. Hell, twenties.
Why, you ask?
Because I can afford THIS:
What's that you say?
"What's the big deal?"
Well... in my foolish attempt to secure a low-cost meal option at the grocery store, I decided to get the medium size of bean salad. Thinking it was sold by the size (like the horrendous greasy potato wedges I ALSO ate), I picked the middle of the road.
AND WAS HORRIFIED when I saw the label right before I was rung through the cash.
BEANS ARE HEAVY.
I am sure your bowels can agree with me on this one. So when sold by the weight...
Seriously? REALLY? For bean salad (with or without a fancy name label)? SERIOUSLY?
F_ck.
All I could think of was this:
Talk about brilliant marketing. Add some vinegar, olive oil, and salad counter leftovers, and mark the price up TEN TIMES. I assumed once it was scooped and labelled it was mine, so I didn't ask her to put it back.
So don't hate.
Also? Don't order the large unless you are having Cristal champagne and having your driver take you home in your Rolls Royce/Hummer limousine hybrid.
Seriously.
_________
Pin It Now!
Apparently, I am LOADED.
And not loaded off of Skinny Girl Sangria. No, my dear friends, not THAT good kind of loaded.
I mean, I clearly must make huge bank. Be rolling in dough. I think I should be wiping my butt with twoonies. Hell, twenties.
Why, you ask?
Because I can afford THIS:
 |
| My sexy thumb, for scale. And I think that is mothereffing barley which has gluten. |
What's that you say?
"What's the big deal?"
Well... in my foolish attempt to secure a low-cost meal option at the grocery store, I decided to get the medium size of bean salad. Thinking it was sold by the size (like the horrendous greasy potato wedges I ALSO ate), I picked the middle of the road.
AND WAS HORRIFIED when I saw the label right before I was rung through the cash.
BEANS ARE HEAVY.
I am sure your bowels can agree with me on this one. So when sold by the weight...
 |
| What, is there Grey Poupon in there or something? WTF? |
Seriously? REALLY? For bean salad (with or without a fancy name label)? SERIOUSLY?
F_ck.
All I could think of was this:
Talk about brilliant marketing. Add some vinegar, olive oil, and salad counter leftovers, and mark the price up TEN TIMES. I assumed once it was scooped and labelled it was mine, so I didn't ask her to put it back.
 |
| I even had all the f_cking ingredients at home.You know, except for the effort part. |
So don't hate.
Also? Don't order the large unless you are having Cristal champagne and having your driver take you home in your Rolls Royce/Hummer limousine hybrid.
Seriously.
_________