Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Rockband Chin Electrocution - Part F*CK That Hurt...

That's right folks.

I wanted to try to post some new material since this blog is growing a little cobwebby (maybe it is my brain, one never really knows these things).

But first! First BF decided he would play along with me (literally) so I could sing a few songs on Rock Band 2. We geared up. Drums were adjusted. Songs were selected. (It may have been "Who Knew" by P!nk, or it may have been a hard-core death metal song, one never really knows these things either).

No electrocution warnings anywhere on the box. Also, should read "Rock Band 2" if you want to be picky.

And you know what? I slid forward on the carpet (gearing up to wow BF with my wicked vocal range and skill) and the motherfucking microphone electrocuted my chin, subsequently frazzling me and then burning itself out.

Looks harmless enough, doesn't it? A little gee-tar, some "drums", and a mouth-death-trap.


I hope it got rid of my blackheads, 'cause it REALLY.FUCKING.HURT.

I am so pissed for so many reasons right now.

I love Rock Band for singing. I have a second imitation mic and it blows goats. It makes you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher (wuh wah wuh wah waaaaah).

Those stupid things cost MONEY to replace. Because I don't understand the fragility of electronics and FUCKING FLOOR static electricity.

I can't exactly go back to Best Buy and say... uh, I was sliding my ass across the carpet while singing, and your microphone shorted out on me (more specifically, my GODDAMN CHIN) so I would like a replacement mic.

Also not making things better was BF's extensive knowledge about how frequently things like this happen, and how most electronic devices have anti-shock measures in place to help prevent things like this from happening. Things like getting your motherfucking CHIN electrocuted by a child's video game accessory.

I'm pretty sure he also said that me sitting there holding my chin wasn't going to help anything.



Pin It Now!


  1. not that i would ever do this but My evil twin evil bruce has on occasion lied about how shit got fucked up...

    btw that smell of burning human flesh is a. lot. like the smell of law suit!

    just some tucker woke me up and hey the puter is on wtf is happening no fucking coffee cuz its 240 am and i reeeeaallly need to get back to sleep! advice...

    or mebbee i am dreaming this...

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  2. Sorry about your misfortune there kiddo, but what a great laugh you provided to start my day.
    You are too funny!!!
    Hope everything feels okay now.....

  3. Are you going to have a scar like Harrison Ford now?

  4. I can't watch the video so this might not matter but if the thing electrocuted you then take it back. Unless you were using it in the bath there is no excuse for geting shocked.

    On the other hand, the good news is that the electrocution might get rid of any unsightly chin hair that some womem have been known to get as they age.

  5. i'd totes go back to the store and be like WTF BEST BUY!?!? YOUR SHIT ELECTROCUTED MAH FACE! and ask for an exchange.

  6. Yeah, for sure, take it back.. what if you were a little kid playing and sliding your ass across the carpet?

    (this is why I'm scared as fuck of static electricity.. plus I shorted out the start buttons on one of my controllers with a static shock. Yeah)

  7. Ouch!!! I'd totally take it back.

  8. I had no idea that was even possible.. so hooray for new discoveries?

    And it's ok. When I run on the treadmill, I shock myself every time I touch the little metal heart rate things. Dumb static. That shiz hurts.

  9. That right there would piss me off to limits never seen before by mankind.

  10. Yet another reason for me to avoid singing in front of others. Of course, the fact that I sound like someone is strangling a goat also has something to do with that.

    Why are you looking at me like that? C'mon, don't tell me you've never heard someone strangle a goat?

  11. I can just see you sitting there holding your chin, glaring at the bf with a mental finger flipping him off for that last obvious statement.

  12. Ah, nothing like a little electrocution when you're feeling all pumped up about yourself. It's the universe's twisted sense of humor.

    Funny as hell :)

  13. You totally made me have a coughing fit from laughing. If I have an asthma attack and have to go to the hospital, do you think I can tack that on to a lawsuit you do to BestBuy? That would be awesome.

    Seriously though, I would take it back. No need to go into details about your ass and carpet and their roles in this.

  14. bwaaahaahahahaahahahahaaah- this is the funniest post i've read in a while. i'm pretty sure i laughed at every paragraph while imagining your shit getting electrocuted. (be grateful you don't have braces. you might be missing your lower mandible right now.)

    when my dog ate through the cord on my mic, i bought a new one on ebay for $3.99. it worked perfectly.

  15. @EVERYONE - Whoa, I can't keep up to you peeps! Talk about rapid-fire commenting, you guys are awesome!

    @bruce - A Lawsuit would be great, but my grounds are pretty shaky. Sorry, no advice for the insomnia, I got my mitts on some sleeping pills and was out cold about 35 minutes after I posted this. When did you fall back to sleep?

    @BettyBo - I just have a blackened scar emblazoned with "Rock Band 2", but otherwise I am okay. But still pissed (don't forget the pissed part).

    @George - See above. Also? I will make a different scar if you will call me "Indy" from here forward.

    @V-Tom - I knew someone would mention the chin hair!! Now all I have is this lousy Rock Band logo!

  16. @steph gas - In truth I bought it last summer online. I have no idea where my receipt is, so they probably won't give a shit. What do you think? Think my email order confirmation would be enough? (I will totally use that voice if I find it and go to Best Buy).

    @Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. - I don't think it would have SEVERELY maimed a child. May have just hurt them and pissed them off, too.

    @Jumble Mash - It's not yet a year old, but receipt finding will be troublesome...

    @steph c - I find the act of running on the treadmill itself hurts. All that burning and working hard... I wouldn't be AS angry if the thing didn't burn itself out. I'd still be afraid of it, but glad I could still use it in fear...

  17. steph- got back to sleep around 4am..family got up at 6 am...tucker got up with them and made sure i got up...took some pain pills and was out til noon...when tucker dropped his nom nom skeeker on my chest...it's time to play! daddy!

  18. ...This is probably why I try to stay far away from electronic devices. Imagine if that thing had been a vibrator...o_O"

    -Barb the French Bean

  19. omg, not cool, rockband. not. cool. when i play rockband, i usually have to wear wrist braces because of my carpal tunnel. so, you know, that's like, not nerdy or anything :P

    also? if i had been zapped by the mic, the first thing i would have said was "I WONDER IF IT ZAPPED OFF SOME OF MY CHIN HAIR" :P but you are a pretty fair-haired girly, so you probably don't have as much trouble in that department as i do!

  20. I'd definitely take it back too.

    Also, my cousin sings for a band and he says real mics electrocute people all the time. On the lips. Ouch!

  21. Wow. We've had a couple of interesting Rock Band "moments", but they've always been during parties. I'm going to have to remember this microphone trick for those "special" people that show up to our parties. They'll never show up again. Muahaha!

  22. See, I would totally go to best buy, and re-enact what went down so they would replace my mic. But I'm crazy like that. Crazy like a fox. A floor sliding fox.

  23. @Oilfield Trash - Not sure if you are kidding or not, but I am STILL pissed. Stupid mic.

    @Tom G. - 'Round these parts we ain't fond of tha goat stranglin'... so I can't compare. How about cats fighting in the night? That sounds pretty bad...

    @Brandy Rose - You bet yer ass I was. I was all "but... but... I am wounded here!".
    No sympathy.

    @Chris - This is why I learned to NEVER feel confident. The very moment you do, shit like this happens. So I always say, aim low.

  24. @Angie - So now I am inflicting lung-failer on my readers? How does one manage to fail so much in such a short period of time? I really amaze myself (not in a good way) sometimes.

    @You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... - You know what? Thank the Gods for no braces, as I DO enjoy my lower jaw from time to time. However, I have SHIT luck on ebay, but am tempted to try since you claim to have success. But shipping and customs to Canada blows!

    @bruce - Damn, Bruce, I hope you catch up on your sleep. Hope you aren't hurting too bad either. Also? I may be getting a puppy!! Woot woot!

    @Barb the French Bean - I have four words I will only say once, which we will never speak of again: battery acid leaking vibrator. That is all.

    @jess - Awww... carpel tunnel sucks. Should be renamed to "crappel tunnel". No chin hairs. Just numbness for a few hours. And anger. Lots of anger.

  25. so did it work? on the blackheads? need to know.

    also there are a lot of things happening to goats over here. should i be worried?

    well, i'm not because anyone who rocks out to pink is cool in my book.

    thanks for stopping by my place today! great comments. i just love meeting new bloggy friends. mwuah!


    what kind of puppy?

  27. @Deidre - Fuck. Just realized it was TWO years ago. The Wii Fit was last year. Damn. No legs to stand on, and apparently there is some major shortage for Logitech USB microphones compatible with Wii Rock Band, so unless I want to shell out $50, I am screwed. DAMMIT!

    Also, thanks for commenting and joining in on the conversation! :-)

    @On My Soapbox - Only do it if you can then force the chin-electrocuted party to pay for a new mic, if you can find one. DAMMIT!

    @Storm. Kat Storm. - I want to be your friend and bring you with me and have you re-enact for me since I am a wuss for stuff like that. We'd have to find an area of the store with carpet, in order to get the full shock.

    @pattypunker - Hello there! So pleased to have you and thanks for commenting. Mr. 20 Prospect has both opened my eyes to a group of you wonderful bloggers, as well as scar me for life with respect to goats! And... no blackhead removal.


    @bruce - Possibly a lab/husky cross. There is a male and a female. We will meet them and hopefully make a connection! I am excited and nervous and excited and nervous (see Shopping = Stress post).

  28. If you haven't gone back already, check for an entry point mark. If there isn't one, draw one on. It'll look badass [especially if you copy this guy's http://hubpages.com/hub/What-happens-if-a-person-gets-struck-by-lightning], and *probably* get you a free replacement.

  29. Bruce is right - burning flesh smells a lot like lawsuit.

    I want to know, just like Patty Punker, if it worked. It's so I can tell her, not for myself or anything. Also, did you notice if you're missing any chin hair? Just curious. I have a friend who wants to know.

  30. @bekkitae - I can't even find my receipt. Booooo-urns. So I'm mic-less.

    @Kernut the Blond - Hi there, thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    And for the record ROCKBAND microphone chin electrocution, does not remove blackheads, nor chin hair. Bummer, I know.

  31. Forever the Silverlining Man, I keep on thinking whether you get a nice chin hair wax from this electrocution.

  32. #shameface# I didn't realise I had them turned on... 'cause it annoys me when I have to do them too! I feel like I should personally apologise...

  33. Totally commented on the wrong post here. Boo-urns to me! It was about capatchathingers. Valid on any page. :P

  34. @The Absence of Alternatives - Nopers, no such luck.

    @bekkitae - No worries. Blogger seems to change settings for me, so for all I know, I have them on and don't know it. lol. And don't worry about the post thread. I appreciate the comment either way.


I get far too excited when new comments come in here...