LCBO and BC Liquor Facing Bankruptcy

Sales have deteriorated at an alarming pace, most notably the first week of October 2012, onward.

Analysts have surmised that the healthy lifestyle of BC may be to blame, whereas others pontificate that bootleg liquor and moonshine may be affecting legal sales.

The reality?

I stopped drinking in October because I'm knocked up.

Phew!

Feels good to get that out there.

At least now I know that I HAVE made a difference in this world. You know, for liquor sales, anyway.

Sadly no wine, but currently an abundance of whine. BC Liquor and the LCBO are both doomed.

I promise that the BC Liquor landscape will flourish once again in about another 6 months. In fact, there may be record-breaking sales.

Happy 2013 everyone. Don't worry - this won't be turning into a mommy blog, but you can bet your ass I am going to tell you just how... er... fun* the first trimester has been. Seriously.



* = in the ironic sense, including the misnomer "morning sickness" and the little-shared fact that that shit lasts ALL day. 24 hours, yo. Really. Seriously.

Also, LCBO = Liquor Control Board of Ontario, I think.

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Delicious Drool

This happened about 10 minutes ago.

Pretty gross, and I haven't even been able to eat yet today. Thanks, dogs.


Gross: My great dane, Schultz, just shook his head heartily from across the room. A big, long goobery drool flew off and landed on my hubs' laptop lid.

Grosser: I realized all the dog spit cloths are in the dryer, so I looked at it for a second, but didn't wipe it up. The kleenex box is way over there, and the laptop lid looks pretty gross already. Right? Riiight?


Grossest: Ella, the lab, came along, sniffed the laptop case, and licked up the dane's drool. She ate it completely. Blaaaaaaaargh.

The moral of the story: This is why dogs shouldn't have chocolate**. The deliciousness would be wasted on them, since they are content with cat turds, poop and each other's saliva.


** And the fact that chocolate is toxic and can kill them if they have too much or too pure. Like coke for people. Not the drink, the powder. Ahhh, nevermind.

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Air Canada and Passenger Fu

Recently heard on the loudspeaker, while waiting to board Air Canada Flight 033 departing Toronto, Ontario, bound for Vancouver, BC:

"Paging passenger Fu."

*silence*

"Air Canada paging passenger Fu... passenger Fu..."

*pause*

"EFF YOU"

*I laugh heartily out loud, and the speaker system flicks off*

'Tis the season and all.

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