When You Have ALL THE THINGS To Do... Do The Stupid Thing

I've wanted to write so badly.

If you can call this malarkey I type "writing".

Pretty sure I have no fucking clue when it comes to grammar and syntax and proper use of the comma. I love me a comma. I will use that little bastard whenever I feel like it.

Anyway.

YOU GUYS. YOOOOOU GUUUUYS. The few of you that still read, and those of you who come upon this blog by accident by searching a vague porn term and are immediately and wholeheartedly disappointed: Life is chaos.

My little guy is so cute. I mean really really adorable. (Comma there? See, I refrained because I figured you were judging me for my comma use, and now I don't even know. And I just used one there.) He's so sweet when he is not crying or screaming. BUT.HE.HAS.BEEN.CRYING.AND/OR.SCREAMING/MOST/OF/THE/DAYS/ALL/DAY.

It is totally exhausting.

He generally will only catnap around 33-47 minutes. YES. I track it. And he will generally only do that if he is contact napping, meaning being held or lying beside one of us. He's so sweet and these days won't last forever, but man. I get NOTHING done.

This is the best you get because he's going to hate me when he's older. Because I consist of, and spew forth, embarrassment. Oh, and privacy and stuff. 

So, little dude has napped a little, and sometimes had a 3-4 hour stretch of sleep once I finally get him down at night.

AND THEN I SURVEY MY MAIN F*CKING FLOOR. And I withhold the immense urge to weep and light the place on fire. So much mess. So much clutter. So many random kid things strewn about the floor. And that is with me TRYING to put shit back immediately, and keep a hamper on the main floor for his dirty clothes and cloths, and gather up Baby D's stuff as soon as I see it somewhere it shouldn't be.

So I have some time to FINALLY accomplish something. ANYTHING. SOMETHING REALLY GODDAMN FAST BEFORE HE WAKES!! And do you know what my brain does? My lucky brain that can finally wash dishes, or clothes, or vacuum, or wash the floor, or put all the toys away, or tidy the art supplies and paper, or gather the items and (corresponding receipts) bought without being able to try them on at the store because he was screaming, or clean the toilets, or wipe down the sinks that have an IMPRESSIVE amount of toothpaste spray and spittle from Baby D?

My brain gives a hearty, intense DEEEERRRRRRRP.

I fucking BLANK OUT. I start something and see something shiny and fucking throw my chance away. I don't go to bed. I rarely watch TV (I miss the odd mental checkout of Chicago PD or Jim Jefferies). I just fucking blank out and scroll my phone and start three things and finish nothing. Then realize I haven't gone pee in 7 hours, so I do that for the first time by myself all day. Then grab junk food because that is all I feel like and have the time and energy to "prepare".

And I PISS THE MOTHERF*CKING OPPORTUNITY AWAY. And the GUILT. Oh man, the guilt. But I cannot emphasize enough how utterly draining it is to have a baby that doesn't want to sleep and cries so often in the day. I love him so much and it breaks me that I can't make him happier in the day. Holding him in my arms is the best solution, but it has a time limit. He is heavy. I have another kiddo. I have to eat and poop and SOMEHOW shove coffee into this gullet.

Those who don't have "high needs" babies have NO FUCKING CLUE how good they have it. Everyone has issues, and motherhood/parenthood is hard and requires sacrifice no matter HOW you slice it, but goddammit having a baby that won't let you be more than 1' away, that cries all the time... that is a serious brain drain. Emotional drain. And my anxiety just soars.

So anyway, here I sit. He actually stayed asleep after the initial put down in the crib for the first time in... seriously I'm trying to calculate but my brain is slow and mashed potato-like. I think in ever. He always wakes multiple times after the initial put down, until 11 or 12. Then it's every 45 minutes to 2 hours. And I poured the last of my red wine and sat to blog. Because I really wanted to. Assuming I'd get 20 minutes and start more again in three weeks. (I know, you're thinking - it took her more than 20 minutes to put this garbage together?!?!) And I have nearly a full post, and an empty glass, and no more red wine (WHAT THE FUCK, THAT'S NOT FAIR).

In truth, I've been so wiped out, this past week is the first week I've had wine in over two months.

Anywho.

I had the chance. The laundry hampers creaked. The table barely had enough room for me to push my laptop on top of shit to type. The floors are covered in baby food splatter. And I typed.

The mess is overwhelming. The sense of failure and disappointment is heavy.

My brain? She sends out a solid DEEEEERRRRRRRRRP.

__________________________

Pin It Now!

Long Distance Movers: Scams, Bullshi* & What You Should Know

Yeah, that's right. I said it.

I have been forced to delve into the world of long distance movers. Not because I want to. Hell naw. I am being forced into it. You know, if I ever want to see my stuff again on the other side of the country.

From initial review, it appears that a LARGE MAJORITY of movers are scammers, rip-off artists, and downright criminal. More than a small percentage of reports and complaints discuss a scam that is quite frequent in the Toronto, Ontario area: load up the truck with your shizz, probably not actually code and inventory the stuff, and then lock the truck door and force the paying customer to go directly to an ATM to withdraw more money for some lame/bogus "extra" that the drivers claim was never accounted for the in quote. (Just read the comments section here).

If you pay, you may see your items again. You also might not. They drive your stuff either to their own local storage, sometimes selling off the most expensive items, and then decide whether or not they will ultimately deliver your goods to you.

That F_CKING TERRIFIES ME.

Being the anxiety-laden, perfectionist-type person that I am, I always like to research the SHIT out of something before making a purchase or service decision. Not because I believe that, in doing so, I will make the 'perfect' decision. No, not at all.

[Sidenote - I find it both amusing and incredibly sad that my perfectionist streak just makes me feel insanely skeptical and causes me to second guess just about every decision I ever make. Because I fear making the WRONG choice, and suffering catastrophic worst-case-scenario type consequences. In reality, all it does is cause immense stress and worry when in reality I can't control anything beyond the brand or company. But that won't stop me from worrying and forever second guessing my decisions**.]

But in looking up all the movers that have quoted us, I am at an impasse. All of them have reviews that indicate this has happened to at least a few customers. A few others showed up on the Canadian government's consumer "beware" list. The BBB (Better Business Bureau) either shows a TON of filed complaints, or no information at all.

Pretty much.

Another problem? If you are moving long distance, you get a subcontractor to unload your stuff at your final destination. Sometimes these are guys hired from homeless shelters and the like. Anyone willing to put in a little time for some under-the-table money.

NOT experienced movers
NOT regular employees who might care
NOT someone who is looking out for your best interests.

Some just employ regular shitty workers. And the moving companies tell you that you have nothing to worry about, and that they don't subcontract their work. BUT THEY DO. Especially for long distance. I highly doubt the one truck driver acts as the delivery man AS WELL AS the mover, all by his lonesome.


So if your stuff gets put into storage, either on your departure end or arrival end, you may never see it again. Or, you may have to pay such exorbitant fees to recover your items (of which, a reasonable percentage is likely broken/damaged or unusable), that getting your items back becomes not at all financially feasible.

Long distance movers charge you by the distance travelled, and the weight of your shipment. They claim to use government scales and provide you with a waybill, but how do you know they aren't weighing your stuff with someone else who is shipping a smaller load? That they don't get Larry, Jim and Bob in the truck, along with some cinder blocks and a bag of bricks? You don't get to watch them or see what's being weighed.

Also? The quotes ranged from $0.45/lb, up to $1.00/lb. A significant difference. One quote? $4700 inclusive. Another quote? $11,200. None of these quotes include packing anything beyond some of the breakable kitchen stuff.

They want to pack my department store Corelle dishes and discontinued wine glasses for $200. That shit isn't WORTH that much to start with. To "crate" our flat screen TV that mom and dad gave us would cost $150. WTF? Do they wrap it in a moving blanket made from the tears of unicorns?

Am I guaranteed that the more expensive one won't pull the scams? No.


But the best part? Any moving company is NOT RESPONSIBLE for damaged items IF YOU PACKED THE BOX. While I can see why this would apply if someone is a shitty packer, it also applies to things that you don't pay them to crate. The basic coverage provided allows for reimbursement of $0.60/lb, industry standard, along with a $300+ deductible if your load gets lost or you can prove an item is missing from the shipment. (And, apparently, know the weight of said item). You can purchase more insurance on your own... but how do I know the total value of all my stuff?

I've been reading (and consequently losing sleep) at Homestars.com, to see what people are saying about the movers. But you can tell so many reviews are bogus, with glowing 10.0 and remarks like "they made me feel 'LIKE A QUEEN!' "... uh... ok. Yeah, I expect that from a mover. Some of the moving company replies to customers who had bad experiences show the moving companies are jerks about stuff. Which makes me even more concerned.

Has anyone used a long-distance mover across Canada that they could recommend? If so, tell me what went wrong, too. I need context and honesty.

It's hard enough to try and accept that I am leaving my family and friends behind in this move...  to imagine losing all of my belongings on top of that is just too much to try to process.

I will hope for the best, but I really don't have a good feeling about this at all.


________


** I do not, for a moment, second guess marrying my husband. That's the one thing I feel solid about. Though I torment myself wondering what I could have done differently to make our wedding better, more fun, kept more people dancing, should have changed about my dress, blah blah blah.

Pin It Now!