Holy Shit, It's May!

When did that happen?

How did that happen?

And why did I have 5 ice cream cookie sandwiches today? Hmmm? I need an answer for that one, most importantly.

I feel like life has been on hold for 3 years. Time to unpause, just not sure how to do it (though pretty sure eating my way into plus-sized clothing isn't a successful game plan...)

What are your plans for May? 

What do you tell yourself when you feel exhausted, unwell, but determined to change?

And how do you NOT buy and consume a multi-pack of ice cream treats?

Damn, this world is just so confusing.


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I Need To Trim My Bush

It's getting all hairy and out of control.

For real.

It could probably scratch out the eye of a child or dog in its current state. Not that children are typically near my bush.

See for yourself:

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You should see it post-butchering... I mean... post-trim. I think it looked better here.

What?

Get your mind out of the gutter and stop thinking about my bush.

Pervert.

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Dear Dundas

Dear Dundas, Ontario,

Why are there no motherf_cking mailboxes anywhere?!
Anywhere!?

Seriously?

I drove in circles and couldn't find a one. (Not the same circle, that would just be stupid.)

Oh mailboxes, mailboxes wherefore art thou? 

Dammit.

Sincerely,

My mail-sendingly-challenged self.


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