Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Whoever said "change is good" clearly doesn't have an anxiety disorder...

So.

Yeah.

"Change Is Good".

Whoever made that line up was entirely misquoted. They incorrectly spell the word "terrifying" with the letters G - O - O - D.

An obvious oversight.

Want me to sob heartily but silently, alone, in the bathroom stall at a strange airport?
Introduce change. (And perhaps allow me to grab the REAL large yogurt container from the fridge, instead of the OLD large yogurt container that is holding my leftover quinoa bean salad [intended to be my gluten-free meal on the flight back to Toronto]. And let me get stopped at security. And let the words "quinoa" and "beans" escape my mind, so I look extremely suspect and unable to explain to the agent why I was honestly not trying to smuggle 475mL of liquid-yogurt through airport security. Let the agent warn me, give me a once over, and shake his head in disgust as he throws out the real yogurt intended for my husband. Perhaps also be added to the no-fly list).

Want me to hold my body more rigid with tension than a CSI corpse while holding my breath, for hours at a time?
Introduce change. (And throw in driving someone else's car with super soft brakes into the mix, just to heighten the fear factor.)

Want me to re-assess everything I have ever owned, forcing emotionally-charged decision after decision, donating, tossing and packing things?
Introduce change. (And then get the hell outta Dodge, because someone is going to get hurt).

Want me to drive like a 90-year old woman with cataracts on strange, new roads?
Introduce change. (You know, maybe this one isn't such a bad idea. The slow part, not the cataracts part).

 
Stephanie, I'd like you to meet fetal position.
Fetal Position? Here, please let me introduce you to Stephanie.
I think you two will get along swimmingly.


___________

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20 comments:

  1. So, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don't like change. lol

    Sorry you've had to meet the fetal position, hopefully you two can part ways amicably. Soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @J.Day - I'm such a baby. And a chicken. So I guess that means I am a chick. A chick in the fetal position (it's hard to type while in the fetal position...)

      Delete
  2. Rather than fetal position, call it child pose. Breathe. Hope you emerge soon.

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    Replies
    1. @Keith - Love it. You know what? I DO DESPERATELY need some yoga. It's been far too long, and it works so well to ground me. Just need my raw, peeled feet to heal up.

      Thanks for the smile.

      Delete
  3. ugh. i don't necessarily hate change quite that way, but i get that fetal position from time to time. i usually either binge eat, binge shop, or take tarzipan.

    good luck {{hugs}}

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    Replies
    1. @steph gas - You have been very brave and handled your major moves so well, in the face of some extremely hard stuff.

      Tarzipan ain't touchin' shyte for me. I just have to stay positive and hopeful.

      Lately it's been NO APPETITE. And no time to shop. Boooo.

      {{hugs back}}

      Delete
  4. Fetal position? Nice and safe. Aaaaand. It's not a change. It's something familiar.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @middle child - ME LIKEY FAMILIAR!!

      I think I need to get to the Wizard of Oz for some courage.

      Delete
  5. Ugghh change. I was still in British mode at he END of my holiday in France and was so confused why cars were coming the wrong way! x

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    Replies
    1. @Althea - Too funny. I continually almost got hit by cars at the street in Barbados, long ago, because the cars were reversed from Canada. My friend had to keep grabbing my arm.

      Delete
  6. *hugs* I hate change too. I just had a battle with a potentially agressive panic attack (I won!) because my mother called me and asked me to deviate from a plan that I had already set in motion. Does she not know me?? All the hours and days I took planning and getting ready for this plan, and it was going off smoothly, and then she called me and asked me to change it in the middle of it? WTF? I told her I am only go-with-the-flow when I plan on being go-with-the-flow.

    And that was a really silly example of just a little change. I'm guessing you might be dealing with something bigger. :( Sending smiles, hugs, and good vibes your way, Dear!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @L-Kat - Thanks for the smiles, hugs and good vibes.

      I both laughed AND related to your line: "I am only go-with-the-flow when I plan on being go-with-the-flow". lol. I get it, loud and clear.

      And way to win! I need to find a way to win with this. Maybe I can bring Charlie Sheen over and he can share his secrets and tiger blood?

      Delete
  7. :(

    At work, they made me go through a "change management" program, apparently because I am reisistent to change. I found out that every time they make a change at work, they do it exactly wrong. I am not trying to impede progress, I just think they're fucking idiots.

    Realizing that change is handled poorly actually helps me cope with change a bit. Although I WILL randomly burst into freak-out-shit-why-do-things-have-to-change-I-don't-know-how-to-deal-with-this-bullshit mode, and go cry in the bathroom. It's a process.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Leauxra - Did the program help you out in non-work related change? I never understand how management can be so incompetent at times, yet continue to run a business. It's baffling.

      Is it wrong that I take comfort in the fact that I am not the only one out there doing the same cry in a bathroom?

      I am definitely processing right now. I know I'll survive, I'm just a baby.

      Delete
  8. Just remember to breath.. change is a bitch! :)

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    Replies
    1. @Hey Monkey Butt - I honestly keep forgetting. And change IS a bitch!! You're right!

      Delete
  9. OMG I can relate to everything you wrote. Someone once told me, "you don't handle change very well..." I said, "that's not true, I can handle change...as long as I know about it ahead of time!"

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    1. @NayNay - You are already one up on me, because it would seem that even with fair warning I can't handle change!! Unless handling includes a lot of activities that involve tears.

      Thanks for commenting!

      p.s. I just had to double check I spelled it 'tears' and not 'teats'.

      Delete
  10. oh my god i love you for posting this, i am currently 'processing' moving back in with my parents from my slightly grotty but loved bedsit, and preparing to quit my job and go back into education in September- i've felt the change brewing for a while, everytime i think i'm mentally prepared then BOOM. Yes i feel like my neck is in plaster from all this jaw clenching thought churning nostalgic nonsense, days of massage couldn't undo those knots. Explaining to my boyfriend while tears are streaming down my face that there is literally nothing you can say that is going to make me stop crying, i'm just adjusting, i'll be fine once the change has ran it's gut wrenching course AND i know i am ridiculous, that this is ridiculous but right now my stomach is filled with a big black hole of WHY CANT EVERYTHING BE LIKE IT USED TO BE and the only thing that will fill it is time!
    BUT your post just made me feel alot happier lol i think that too like 'am i sick when i like hearing that other people can't cope too?' 'Do i thrive on other people's misery!?' But no it's just reassuring and makes me feel less pathetic :)
    Thanks!

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    Replies
    1. @Anonymous - I appreciate you taking the time to post a comment like this. If it makes YOU feel any better, I ALSO feel better knowing someone else processes (or struggles to process) change like I do.

      Not that I wish it on you, or anyone else, but sometimes in those moments of black-holed-ness and 100% uncertainty, it feels so damn lonely.

      So, having said that, I officially declare us NOT pathetic.

      I'm hoping a shit-ton of hot yoga, avoidance and disassociation will get me through. I hope things get easier for you very soon.

      Delete

I get far too excited when new comments come in here...