Things That Piss Me Off

Okay, well there are lots of things. Maybe this should be titled "only a very few things that piss me off in order to fit in a sort of short post"....

I thought I would type some shizz now and perhaps elaborate more later. I wanted to take pictures of 1 and 2 but just didn't, because I am lazy.

By obstructing the view and making it unsafe to turn right, you, too will be convinced to vote for Smedley!

1. Political signs on people's front lawns, especially when the signs start to get larger and larger when their neighbour has one from a different political party
2. Obscenely oversized political signs on random city corners. Is the corner going to vote? And for all candidates?
3. Mother-effing yeast infections
4. Naturopaths who tell you to shove either a) raw garlic b) chamomile tea bags c) grapefruit seed extract d) plain yogurt with probiotics w/no sugar up your hoo-ha to stop said infection in #3 (PEOPLE, I know you are smart if you are reading my blog *har har* but don't EVARRR do ANY of those things)
5. Sugar. I love it, but it causes me.. uh... problems.... therefore it pisses me off.
6. People who put bagged dog poo in my empty recycling bin (located beside my garbage bin) before I have a chance to bring it in. Seriously??... Reeeally?..... Seriously? You think that is helpful?
7. People who force me to litter by violently throwing bagged dog poo down the road in a fit of rage after realizing recycling bin #1 punctured not visible bagged poo in recycling bin #2 (from list item #6).
8. Vets that lie and don't provide estimates and overcharge and play on your emotions (no, not Dr. Harkness at West Brant Animal Hospital... they are freakin' awesome and a breath of fresh air).
9. People who have call waiting but NEVER answer it. Why the hell do you have it then? WHY?!?
10. Doctors who don't give a crap about their patients. I understand you are busy, I understand our health care system is overwhelmed.... but, unfortunately, my quality of life matters to me, dammit.
11. Dietitians or nutritionists who whip out Canada's food guide when they have a gluten-free, soy-free vegan sitting in front of them, desperate for nutrition and intolerant of all the damn things on the food guide.

Not vegan friendly. At all. Ever.

OH! And BLOATING!

 That is all.

p.s. My vote is always for Mayor West

And I don't own any of these photos....
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Q-Tip Quandry

Have you ever seen a dog scratch its ear and position itself in such a way that it just.hits.the.sweet.spot?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah, baby..... Image Credit

I realized yesterday that I have a love/hate relationship with those little cotton-tipped buggers. On one hand, they are a necessity unless you are a ear-waxless person (you freak!) or you want yellow chunks of shizz in your ears (like my classmate Clayton did in elementary school... I remember seeing it while riding the bus one day and swearing up and down I would NEVER let my ears look like that).

Fast forward 3 years. I was maybe 11. This would be the year before the lovely, sparkly graduation dress. My family doctor told my mother and I that you should never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear. He comically tried to demonstrate.

I felt a little embarrassed for him.
Also confused.

Nothing that big would FIT in your ear, dumbass (alas, his sarcasm was lost on me. ON ME. I know, it's just... I know).

I have a new appreciation for the dog and the sweet spot. Screw the doctor (actually, I heard his nurse did just that, he ruined his marriage, and had to leave town.... but I digress).

There is a fine line between reaching in your ear deep enough to feel like you are cleaning that mother-effer out all street-sweeper style, then there is the part where you hit a drum or a dangerously-easy-to-puncture-area (or something that hurts like crazy).

My first reaction is to draw back in pain, but depending on the angle of that damn Q-tip, ya gotta be cautious. Every time I start fishing around in there, I always feel über-confident and cocky that I will outsmart the bad-ear-drum part. I'm sitting at about 30%.

Creatures as found in their natural habitat...... Image Credit

Who else, on earth, can you honestly say, would wake up and see this as a challenge? A task to be mastered -  overcome? I am so special. I know Mom, I bet you are so proud!

So far I am not winning this war. And no-name Q-tips... well, my friends, you are just ASKING for it.

This is so random, yet I felt compelled to post.

Wield those puppies carefully, my friends. The Q-tip is a wiley beast. Best not to mess with it.

Until next time of course, then you HAVE to win..... Pin It Now!

I Gotz Me An Award!

Yay!

I was awarded a "lovely blog" award from VickiLikesFrogs (formerly known as ♥ Vicki ♥ , kind of like how Prince changes his name now and again) from her blog, Glitter Frog.

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