Crying over?

Just to clarify - I can still cry if I spill soy milk, right?

I mean, it easily makes just as much a mess as dairy milk.

And I think it costs more.

And the soy milk totally got into someone else's smartphone wall charger cord.

*Proceeds to cry over spilled milk and lack of hand-eye coordination*

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I had Mike Weir for Valentine's Day

Yup, that's right.

I got to TASTE HIM. He was surprisingly dry. But I drank him all in.


Oh, you guys are disgusting. I meant his sparkling wine,  jizz  jeez.

He fizzed all in my mouth. Also? The dim lighting made me look better to the New Husband. Probably.

When we saw the sign for this Italian restaurant (highly recommended by a fellow in the Williams Sonoma store), we expected shag carpeting and beads onto the doors in the washroom.

Surprisingly swanky. You didn't make the table cut if you were forced to sit at the bar or pizza bar. Just FYI.

It was surprisingly elegant, and we managed to score a table at 6pm on a Friday night with no reservations.

We must have looked mistakenly classy.

Also, holyshitandallthingsnotaffordable, have you people ever been in Williams Sonoma? The New Husband spent $36 on a whisk. A WHISK!

We spent $20 on PEPPERCORNS, people.

PK, you have got some mighty classy taste. I felt so out of place in that store.

So here's to tasting Canadian golfers like Mike Weir, while your husband watches, on Valentine's Day!!

*clinks glass in right hand to glass in left hand*

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Things that piss me off

For no good reason, in no particular order, my list.

The antithesis of 1,000 awesome things (both shorter AND completely negative):

• My propensity for injury in ANY given situation
• Fashion magazines and/or Photoshopping women's bodies to completely unrealistic or unhealthy standards
• Wet, heavy snow that causes a full body sweat to shovel
• Constipation
• Diarrhea (you know - wet, heavy poo that causes a full body sweat)
• Your mother (just kidding, she's probably a very nice woman who bakes things)
• Your mother (because she causes a full body sweat, too)
• Gluten (that shit is in EVERYTHING)
• Cool air humidifiers (scented or unscented)
• Pretentious, obscenely expensive weddings
• Wearing sleeveless pajamas and waking up all night because my shoulders are cold
• Polyester pants (you know - the whole half body sweat thing)
• Half-visible, half frozen boogers that you have no idea are taking up real estate in your nose, while walking your dog outside

That's it for now.

How truly uninspiring.

You are welcome.

If you leave me a comment, tell me THREE RANDOM THINGS that piss you off.


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