Goddamn Blogger finally got wise to me and switched me over to the new layout/scheme.
I hate it.
Anyway, yeah, so who here wants to eat off the floor?
It is so sparkling clean that we totally can.
Totally.
We are renting a house.
The owners decided that a house that had been owned/occupied by an ill elderly lady for YEARS, until her passing, and then left empty for another year didn't need to be cleaned.
At all.
Before we moved in.
I never actually saw the place before we paid for it. My father in law took a gander and knew that the size of the house, and the fact they would accept dogs, was enough to make it work.
And we were damn lucky to find a place that would allow two big, stinkers. And the dogs, too... nyuck nyuck. (I searched for months and months trying to find a rental house that would accept dogs, and all but one other owner said no. So we had no real choice. The yard is great for the dogs, and we need the space in a house, but DAY-UM).
But I knew my feet felt icky on the floor.
I busted out the Swiffer wetjet, bought new solution, and swiped an area of floor downstairs about 2 feet wide by about 8 feet long.
All I could think of was:
"Holy hell this place is so disgusting, I can't live here even temporarily, dear lord I feel dirty and this place is creepy and there are spiders and ewwww and it's so nasty, and I hate cleaning and ahhhhhhhhh"
along with:
"I have to take a photo and blog this shit".
So, there ya have it.
My mouth is watering already. Pull up a cushion and a fork, we're having mud-spider carcass for dinnah!
Now, to take nice, long, hot bath.
You know, after I spend an hour scrubbing the SHIT out of it with bleach...
_________
Pin It Now!
I hate it.
Anyway, yeah, so who here wants to eat off the floor?
It is so sparkling clean that we totally can.
Totally.
We are renting a house.
The owners decided that a house that had been owned/occupied by an ill elderly lady for YEARS, until her passing, and then left empty for another year didn't need to be cleaned.
At all.
Before we moved in.
I never actually saw the place before we paid for it. My father in law took a gander and knew that the size of the house, and the fact they would accept dogs, was enough to make it work.
And we were damn lucky to find a place that would allow two big, stinkers. And the dogs, too... nyuck nyuck. (I searched for months and months trying to find a rental house that would accept dogs, and all but one other owner said no. So we had no real choice. The yard is great for the dogs, and we need the space in a house, but DAY-UM).
But I knew my feet felt icky on the floor.
I busted out the Swiffer wetjet, bought new solution, and swiped an area of floor downstairs about 2 feet wide by about 8 feet long.
 |
| I think swiffer pads now come in an assortment of colours. I unknowingly picked out "filth". |
All I could think of was:
"Holy hell this place is so disgusting, I can't live here even temporarily, dear lord I feel dirty and this place is creepy and there are spiders and ewwww and it's so nasty, and I hate cleaning and ahhhhhhhhh"
along with:
"I have to take a photo and blog this shit".
So, there ya have it.
My mouth is watering already. Pull up a cushion and a fork, we're having mud-spider carcass for dinnah!
Now, to take nice, long, hot bath.
You know, after I spend an hour scrubbing the SHIT out of it with bleach...
_________
My wife and I have the same comment.
ReplyDeleteEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hear Costco sells bleach by the 5 gallon pail. Might be a good deal.
@Keith - For once, the dirt in the house is not due to my own housekeeping. Living here is going to be exhausting. My guess is that I will get it clean just in time to move to a permanent home.
DeleteQuick!! TO COSTCO WE GO!
Ewwww, indeed. I was lucky that my new place wasn't grossly dirty (although the bedroom upstairs had a school of goldfish crackers living beneath the carpet - people! Don't let your kids eat in the bedroom!) I hear you on the spiders... And wasps... And ants...
ReplyDelete@Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. - I read your post and felt your pain. Imma have a good post about my journey packing, too.
DeleteIt sucks. And it's overwhelming. I'm glad things are feeling better and more home-y for you.
UGH that swiffer is gross. EEK.
ReplyDelete@Gia - Does that mean you are RSVP-ing "no" for dinnah?
DeleteThat's pretty gross! But think of how awesome it will be once clean!!1
ReplyDeleteI switched myself over to enw blogger awhile ago and its grown on me. My only problem is that most of the features (mainly, pictures) don't work when I'm at my office so I have to do most posts from home.
@Michael Zosh - Yes, but the problem here is that *I* have to do all the cleaning. BOOOOO.
DeleteI have to adjust to the new Blogger. Seems very much like Word. I just hate it that all the buttons moved. I'm a creature of habit. And anxiety. lol.
I did something similar one time, getting a place sight unseen. Only instead of an old lady there before me, I am pretty sure it was a crack whore. For real. It turned out that floor was not a dark wood stain, but actually really bright, and I eventually painted over the odd reddish purple stain in one of the cabinets. And never stored anything there.
ReplyDeleteHere is what I suggest... a HAZMAT suit and a power washer. And make sure you have a good vacuum cleaner handy to suck up any little jerk spiders that don't know their place and that they should stay the hell OUT of the house.
@Leauxra - Oh dear.
DeleteYeah, we are using as few cupboards as possible. But crack whore is much further up the dirty chain than bed-ridden elderly lady.
Also - I like your HAZMAT approach, but I am using a borrowed vaccuum. I hear it has to have a slicer otherwise the little fuckers just climb back out and scare you when you empty the bag/canister.
I need the Dyson model that kills stuff. You know... If there is one.
OH MY!!!! That might be one of the grossest things I've ever seen! You should send that pic to your landlord asap.
ReplyDelete@Jodes - It's a tricky situation. They are fairly easy going, but the elderly lady was one of their mom's.
DeleteI don't know how to say "WTF, People, how is this acceptable?!? It's filthy!" without insulting their mom and their inability to see how gross things were.
*Sigh*
Best part is that they say we have to shampoo the carpets before we leave. Even though they weren't even VACCUUMED when we moved in. AND they are TEARING THE HOUSE DOWN when we leave!!!!
It'll be ok. You will make it your home. Ok, so it's gonna take a year or 25. You mentioned the dogs. You'll love this - my son, his wife and kids live in Las Vegas with daughter-in-law's sister and boyfriend. They were fortunate to find a house to rent that allows for two dogs. I said TWO dogs. Well my son has two dogs. Jennifer's sister has SIX dogs. Two + six = EIGHT dogs, two of which are Bull Mastiffs! Good thing the landlord doesn't come around, right?
ReplyDelete@middle child - lol... yes, I have a feeling it will be closer to 25. ;)
DeleteHoly hell, 6 bull mastiffs?!?! They would need their own house! She must just sign her pay cheque over to the vet. Wowsers.
The landlord came here, but I wouldn't open the door (I didn't know that's who it was and I won't answer the door unless I know who is there). The smaller dog was standing on the door barking at him.
No hiding anything with these two doggies. They make themselves known to everyone. Including the neighbour who knows the owners well and hates us. lol.
Yuk! I'm sure things will get much cleaner :P x
ReplyDelete@Althea - I need a line to the cleaning fairy, STAT.
DeleteNot sure if I mentioned how much I don't want to clean this house. Blah.
Ick. Just ick.
ReplyDelete@J.Day - Ick indeed. To the power of 1,000,000,000.
Deleteyou never not make me laugh. never change.
ReplyDelete@Paige - Hey, thanks. It would actually be funny if I didn't live here.
DeleteYou should see what goes on inside my brain... change isn't one of those things. ;)
Maybe you should just pay people to come in and give it a good clean. I just did that last month to my boyfriend's house because I couldn't stand how messy it was. Best $160 I ever spent.
ReplyDelete