This is the last of my bleeding heart posts (the last one lost me two followers, for reals).
Jenny, THE BLOGGESS, is co-ordinating stuff here:
http://thebloggess.com/?p=9474
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Moving on to other topics...
I bought a new wrap blouse and a high-waisted pencil skirt to wear to my work luncheon. It is one of two Christmas-y sort of dress up things I get to attend this year. They were both on sale (the clothing, not the functions), but I am still having a hard time justifying the buy. But, with all the weight loss, NOTHING FITS. So, I went for it.
BF said I looked great. I tried everything on last night to make sure it fit and I didn't look like a hooker or anything. I actually felt like I rocked it pretty well.
Then I got to the hall. I was the first one there. A client came in and asked me where to put his coat, and if I worked there. FUCK NO, I don't. I work for the engineering firm that invited you here. (And no, I am not an engineer, I am a lowly co-ordinator, but I still do engineery stuff,
beeyotch! Yeah, I've been on a swing stage. Many times. EAT THAT, Mr. Client!).
Then I considered the fact that I was wearing a black tank top, white wrap blouse and high-waisted black skirt. Shit. All I needed was a tie and I would have matched the bloody wait staff (okay, they may have been wearing vests, too, I'm not sure).
My co-worker (we'll call him Colleague #1) came in and looked at me. First words out of his mouth? "Oh hey, do you work here? Can you go get me a drink or something? *snickers*".
JACKASS.
So of the 6 people there, 33% pointed out my outfit was very waitress-like. Which is obviously AWESOME because that was the look I was going for when I shelled out the money to actually buy a decent outfit for once. Friggin' awesome.
So more people came in, it was bloody freezing with the door opening so often, chit chat was had, mingling commenced. I smiled and laughed. I was already pissed that my hair was a big 80's pouf-ball disaster (over-diffusing = chia pet). I also added these pretty drop earrings into the mix, which I had originally assumed would be mostly covered by my hair being down. Once I put the sides up to control the pouf factor, I forgot that shit made me look some
pink lipstick away from a Poison video. (Surprisingly more like the gentlemen in said video).
Then I wandered to the bar. And one of the three main manager-guys that I always joke around with asked me if I worked there and if I could get him a drink. He had not spoken with Colleague #1.
Fantastic.
So... I should have worn a pair of my ill-fitting pants with a tight belt, some random sweater, and donated the damn money to charity. Also? I get to wear the outfit again and hope no one approaches me and asks for more h'ors d'oeuvres.
(Yes I had to search for the proper spelling of that). At least at the work function I had a company name tag on. Not at this next event.
Quadruple bonus? I went to the washroom about an hour before everything ended to find that my mascara had somehow morphed onto my upper eyelids, as well as under my eyes. It looked like I had been crying (trust me, I know that look + mascara). It has never happened to me before, but it was the icing on the cake. I looked like the
saddest 80's rocker slash waitress slash bartender slash streetwalker this little town ever did have.
 |
| "Hi, I'm Stephanie, welcome to the luncheon." (minus the collar) |
I blame it on the shitloads of concealer I tried to apply (albeit poorly, and, what's that you say? Blend? I'm not familiar with that... Pancakey make-up is not advisable? Really? Can you double check that? What's that you say? Liquid/cream clearance eyeshadow probably didn't help matters? Hmm. Well, where the hell
WERE YOU when I was getting ready?)
Mark that one as a big, fat fail.
Before you all try commenting with soothing "It wasn't that bad" comments, just let me have this one. This monumental moment of semi-confidence to epic fail. Yes, I am sure it wasn't that bad at the end of the day. Whatever.
Fuck it, I'm wearing it out tomorrow night, too. To a RESTAURANT. I'll tempt fate. But maybe I will try to straighten my hair. And not wear dripping eye make-up. And drop earrings. And pink lipstick.
Nah, probably not.
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