Saturday, June 25, 2011

Hot & Sweaty

Awwwww yeeeeeeah, boooooyeeeeeeeeee.

I went clubbin' tonight. And though I am Canadian, I don't mean baby seals.

OH! HAI! I iz layin' around, bein' Canadian and adorable. What's that long club-like thing in yer hand? *innocent eyes... tearing up...*

I went to the good ole local dance bar. I didn't want to go, because it often caters to the "older" crowd... then I sort of realized that I AM that demographic.

Though, admittedly, better than a bunch of 19 year olds grinding up on each other.

The DJ had the nerve to play "Saturday Night" by Whigfield... and mention that shit was on the charts in 1995. Which, if you were wondering, was over half my lifetime ago. FUCK. Thanks DJ.

I DO remember being at an "all ages" club dancing to that song. Feyoncé™ bragged that it wasn't half HIS lifetime ago. I just concluded it means he is REALLY old.

So, as much as I joke about the crowd, I did indeed feel pretty good that I wasn't the oldest by a decade.

I shook my booty. I incorporated moves from my Zumba class. I sweat and realized I don't have the endurance I once did as a desperate single girl in my twenties.

A polyester shirt (What, don't hate, that shit is CLUB GOLD), 2 feet of smothering hair, new metallic earring that stuck to my neck sweat, and boots over jeans because I left my funky sandals somewhere else over the weekend: All things conducive to cooking yourself from the inside out.

I was a sweat factory. I'd like to think it was a stunning "dewy" look, but in truth, my eyelids were even sweating. MY EYELIDS, people. Feyoncé™ joked that next time he would have to wear a toque and scarf to experience the same effect. Pffff. Men.

Not to be confused with C & C Music Factory, or their song "Gonna Make You Sweat" which I ALSO remember dancing to in or around 1992. I had that TAPE... word to your mother.

I realized that a lot of my old favourites are fucking RETRO now. Dear Gawd.

I requested my new favourite song - the explicit version of Enrique Iglesias' "Tonight I'm 'LOVING' You", and they played the clean version. Feyoncé™ requested "More" by Usher, but it was not meant to be. Probably for the best in the end, because I probably would have overheated... much like a 31 year old car.

It WAS good to get out there and shake my ass again. It's been a long, long time.

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  1. Now I want to go dancing. Been ages.
    Sounds like you had a fabulous night

  2. you make me feel old just reading this. LOL I do not belong in a dance club anyways

  3. i don't do clubbing. either in actual clubs or involving baby seals. i tried to get into a club when i was 17 and was denied at the door. i've never tried to go back to one since.

    but really not my scene, to be honest. i'm more about sitting around and watching cartoons, drinking and watching baseball, chair dancing while working... hmm. good thing i bought an elliptical machine.

  4. @Mynx - We made the most of it. You should get out there! Have some fun!

    @Bushman - Anyone who WANTS to be in a dance club should be there... YOU included. And sorry about the old thing. ;-)

    @steph gas - I really appreciate that you specified your lack of clubbing on both fronts. Important distinction. lol.

    It's whatever floats your boat. It had been YEARS for us. (Assuming your boat isn't heading to the arctic to club seals...)

  5. I credit this song in part for losing my college Big Mac weight. Curiously, I didn't date at all during my club sweat-dancing workout days.

  6. Sounds like it was a clubbing-type weekend (no, not the seals) for a few bloggers - including me! Which like you, is a veeerry rare experience!

    PS More by Usher is one of my faves, poo on the DJ for denying you!!


  7. never been to a club or dancing man did i miss out as a teen

    Everyday Life

  8. Clubbing is da shizz. Half your lifetime ago (or mine), or now (or in rural PA). Even if the night sucks, it's always a good story for posterity. Keep it up!

  9. ooooh, that baby seal is just begging for a clubbing.

    a night out, hitting the clubs. what did you think i meant?!

  10. @mrtl - The boys were FOOLS! FOOLS, I SAY!

    @Kelly - Poo on the DJ indeed. Except it's possible he may have been about 60 years old and unaware of the song. Maybe he thought I was just requesting "More" music. ahahah

    @becca - It's never too late! Go out and try it one weekend this summer! It'll be fun, I swear!

    @Chris - Interestingly, also good for my posterior. I swear I lost a few pounds in sweat (eeeeeeeew, gross).

    @Kage - Ooooh, smooth recovery, just in time. I was about to burst into tears. (okay, not really). lol. Picture him under disco lights!

  11. Should I admit that I'm a little jealous you were at Club 54, even if it wasn't for comedy night? (my parents used to tape Comedy at Club 54 every sunday.. we have three 8hr vhs tapes)

    I like going to the 'older crowd' bars mainly because teenagers annoy the shit out of me, and I'm at that happy point that when I go to a 'Cougar' bar as they are sometimes referred, I like being one of the younger women there ;-)

    And I need to go dancing again.

  12. Just wait until the latest fashion trend is something you've already worn - years ago. And some might still be in your closet. THEN you'll feel old!

  13. I always sweat at bars. I dont even have to dance.

    My friend La Pinata takes pole dancing classes, so she always makes me look a fool on the dance floor anyway. Bitch.

  14. Whenever a club considers doing an 80s theme night around here they realize that this is Jersey and all it takes is one night of a encouraging a woman down here to do big-80s-Jersey-girl-hair and it would be all over for the environment.

    Glad you had a good time though, love.~

  15. @Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. - There are definitely advantages, no doubt! And we did go there once for comedy night... with my in-laws. Sex jokes = AAAAwkward!

    @Floyd - It really was, dude. It was nice. :-)

    @On My Soapbox - I already eschewed acid wash. Fuck that shit. lol. Kanye West's ridiculous glasses? Also a no-go.

    @Storm. Kat Storm. - My pole-fit skills also make Feyonce feel like a fool on the dance floor. He will never patent the fireman, hard as the poor bugger tries. lol!

    @Katsidhe - Oh, I bet I could rock 80's hair... swing it to the music & everything!! ;-) Thanks.


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