So right now you could say that my life is in a period of transition.
No, I am not pregnant.
No, I am not moving.
No, I am not dying.
No, I won't elaborate.
What I will tell you is that my anxiety is in full bloom, working overtime, and my feeble little brain is having a hard time just getting through daily life as a normal, kempt human being.
F_ck you, Blogger, I decided that kempt is a word, if unkempt is one.
Anyway, I've been travelling a little. I've been looking at my house and realizing how little we've done to maintain, upkeep, NAY improve the house since our descension onto this lovely little street with 3 dogs and 1 cat over the years.
Also? I think that decension is the wrong word there, but who cares.
Spring cleaning = unsurmountable.
Have you ever gone a long, long time without cleaning your house, only to have company come and experience a cleaning blitz like no other to prepare for their arrival? Where you hope they won't spot that pesky dog-vomit stain on the carpet... the chewed up baseboard, or the fact that your front entranceway is missing a few tiles?
I find it sad, but so true, that we get so used to seeing our surroundings day to day, that we don't realize what might look absolutely horrifying or ghetto-fabulous to someone seeing it for the first time.
Like dog drool on the popcorn stucco ceiling that can't be cleaned off.
Stupid cluttery shit like those candles you bought at Winners for $4 about 10 years ago that are collecting dust on dollar store metal plates.
The ever-expanding collection of elephant knick knacks and carvings that have somehow overtaken your shitty IKEA wall unit.
You know, those things.
I am a mini-hoarder, so it's hard for me to part with shit like that. SHIT. (Well not the elephant and Africa stuff... that stuff is travel-memory GOLD).
Someone in her twenties might be stoked to buy those things for a song at the thrift shop... so why don't I purge? Declutter? Donate? Clean and cleanse?
Why do I have an emotional attachment to an ugly candle?
Maybe because I only have one nice candle?
The "just in case" factor?
I don't understand myself, but something has to be done to clean this place up. Laundry doesn't count, but maybe I'll start there.
____________
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No, I am not pregnant.
No, I am not moving.
No, I am not dying.
No, I won't elaborate.
What I will tell you is that my anxiety is in full bloom, working overtime, and my feeble little brain is having a hard time just getting through daily life as a normal, kempt human being.
F_ck you, Blogger, I decided that kempt is a word, if unkempt is one.
Anyway, I've been travelling a little. I've been looking at my house and realizing how little we've done to maintain, upkeep, NAY improve the house since our descension onto this lovely little street with 3 dogs and 1 cat over the years.
Also? I think that decension is the wrong word there, but who cares.
Spring cleaning = unsurmountable.
Have you ever gone a long, long time without cleaning your house, only to have company come and experience a cleaning blitz like no other to prepare for their arrival? Where you hope they won't spot that pesky dog-vomit stain on the carpet... the chewed up baseboard, or the fact that your front entranceway is missing a few tiles?
I find it sad, but so true, that we get so used to seeing our surroundings day to day, that we don't realize what might look absolutely horrifying or ghetto-fabulous to someone seeing it for the first time.
Like dog drool on the popcorn stucco ceiling that can't be cleaned off.
Stupid cluttery shit like those candles you bought at Winners for $4 about 10 years ago that are collecting dust on dollar store metal plates.
The ever-expanding collection of elephant knick knacks and carvings that have somehow overtaken your shitty IKEA wall unit.
You know, those things.
I am a mini-hoarder, so it's hard for me to part with shit like that. SHIT. (Well not the elephant and Africa stuff... that stuff is travel-memory GOLD).
Someone in her twenties might be stoked to buy those things for a song at the thrift shop... so why don't I purge? Declutter? Donate? Clean and cleanse?
Why do I have an emotional attachment to an ugly candle?
Maybe because I only have one nice candle?
The "just in case" factor?
I don't understand myself, but something has to be done to clean this place up. Laundry doesn't count, but maybe I'll start there.
____________
Wait, what does this have to do with Michael Buble? Does he have a song about spring cleaning? and why am I always noticing your labels...?
ReplyDeleteI had moments when I purged. Like when I came home from grad school, I threw out six large bags of random stuff. Now, mid-divorce, I threw out even more. It wasn't an angry purge, it was mostly stuff from 15-20 years ago that I was holding on to for no fathomable reason.
My point is, you will get there. You will reach a point where you won't even think about it but realize that you don't really remember who gave you that specific knick-knack for your birthday, or where you got that candle. Things you don't need or that hold no sentimental value will vanish into thin air, and you will feel lighter for ridding yourself of them. Good luck :)
@Chris - I adore that you read the labels. Sometimes I think about them more than the post. Other times, not so much.
DeleteI just hate him.
I need to be able to just.let.go. I am holding on to things that are holding me back. I am going to re-read your comment every time I start a section of the house.
Don't feel bad about keeping stuff. I keep all sorts of dumb stuff that I could probably get rid of but I don't want to! So I keep it!
ReplyDelete@The Restaurant Manager - I think some of it weighs me down emotionally. It's like I feel obligated to keep stuff, but I don't really want it. You know?
DeleteEvery once in a while, I just want to burn down the house and start over, but apparently they call that "arson" or something. Psh.
ReplyDeleteI lost most of my belongings when I lived in New Orleans. I would have expected to become more attached to everything after that, but really, the opposite is true. All it did was make me figure out what stuff I actually wanted.
That said: I could totally do a spring cleaning. Unfortunately, the first thing I think of is that I should get rid of my job, and I can't seem to move past that point.
@Leauxra - Tee hee = arson.
DeleteI didn't realize you lived in New Orleans. WTH, Steph? Did you lose it in Hurricane Katrina? That must have been awful. But sounds like you have the perfect attitude around it.
I hope you get rid of your job. Apply apply apply elsewhere!!!
I am actually thinking about doing a funny web-comic evacuation story for my blog around the anniversary this summer. It was scary, I thought I was going to die, but the thing I remember the most is joking with my roommate and my sister about death while sitting on the side of the road after running out of gas.
DeleteKinda surreal.
I think it needs to be a comic.
here's a suggestion - a blogger garage sale! Your 'junk' could be my treasure! Mind you, the shipping costs might be dumb. Nevermind.
ReplyDeleteSo ya, yadda yadda what they all said above. Carry on... nothing to see here...
@Carmen - So good if Canada Post wasn't so darn greedy! lol.
DeleteI get like that with my yard. It used to be one of the nicer yards, only because the surrounding ones were so bad. Unfortunately, my neighbors have all been upgraded and then upgraded their yards. Now my yard is "that" yard.
ReplyDelete@Vanessa - We, too, are getting close to "that" yard. No worries. Someone will move in and put a car up on blocks and you'll be fiiiiine.
Delete;)
I really need to do spring cleaning of my own. Like, bad. But three jobs prevents me from having the energy. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. Good luck with yours. lol
ReplyDelete@J.Day - Um, yeah, THREE jobs will have a tendency to do that to you! Wow!
DeleteDog drool on the CEILING??? That is some talented dog.
ReplyDeleteWe've cured music pack rat tendencies by buying music on line. Working out a similar solution for movie DVD's. Since apparently neither music CD's or movie DVD's are manufactured anymore.
The real issue is books. Paper books. Thousands of them. I'm starting to get ebooks, but some of these paper books are like old friends. And just what does one do with a full set of Encyclopedia Britannica? I haven't opened them in more than a decade, and don't anticipate doing so ever again.
@Keith - It's stunning what our Great Dane is capable of. Stunning and gross all at once. I think I am going to start the task of ripping the good CDs. I haven't bought new ones in a long time, but you are wise to go the digital route.
DeleteThousands of books? WHOA! We have a few hundred maybe. I never considered that. Damn. All those books!
Piece of advice: if you don't want people to notice something, then don't point it out to them. You'd be surprised how well this works.
ReplyDeleteExample: "Gasp! OMG! Did you see the hole in my pants?!"
"...No, but now that you mention it, yeah. I do."
Consider the dog-vomit stain forgotten. ;)
-Barb the French Bean
@Barb the French Bean - You know, it's sage advice. My mom tells me all the time. I feel like I should point things out first so people know that I know about the mistake/flaw, etc.
DeleteA period of transition? You've changed conditioners again, haven't you? Don't worry, you'll get through. You've got a whole loving internet of people to help you. Except for the ones that are googling "Boob Scratches". You might want to block those IP addresses.
ReplyDelete@Tom G. - Shampoo. SHAMPOO. Man, pay attention!
DeleteI never actually tagged or labelled boobs in that last post, so I should be pretty good.
Never, EVER trow away anything elephant. And if for some reason you start losing your mind and think getting rid of elephants is a good idea, you just get ahold of me and I'll keep them all save for you.
ReplyDeleteIn other words, I love elephants.
I get overwhelmed with cleaning too. And you're right, we get so used to our surroundings that we just chalk it up as "that's the way it's always been".
Good luck. Start small and snowball your efforts.
@CrazyTragicAlmostMagic - I love elephants, too. How could you not love them? You know, unless you were giving one an enema by yourself and it crapped all over you and killed you by poo suffocation. (It's true, Google it).
DeleteStarting small really is key. Thanks for the motivational words!!
I feel your pain. We had a sleepover for my daughter's birthday party this year, and I took the entire week off from work so I could clean in preparation for it. The sad part is, I was still cleaning up to 1/2 hour before the party. And there are still parts that aren't finished.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Lexaura. If arson wasn't so frowned upon, it'd be a great way to start from scratch.
@blissflower1969 - I'm the same way. I kid you not - 10 HOURS to clean out my nightstand. And my mom and sister came over and I never finished it. The "leftovers" are still sitting on my dresser.
DeleteI don't understand myself, but I get ya!
Yeah, Leauxra is pretty spot on. :)