Warm Light Reminiscing

Warm Light Reminiscing

I've seen a smattering of Christmas lights around these here parts, and I tell ya, things just aren't the same as they used to be.

My elderly (mid-30s) eyes can't take the searing eyeball-piercing blue LED lights. Squinting in pain does not typically result in Christmas cheer for this ole gal.

Festive?  Yes.  Bright?  Yes.  But not cozy or warm. Kind of eye assaulting, though brownie points for execution.

I miss the old days of not-grounded electrical plugs that could/did shock the shit out of you. The kind that felt mildly like Russian Roulette as you plugged them in near the watery, murky water in your Christmas tree stand.

The kind of strings of lights that were a warm, comforting glow. Especially glowy when they heated up so much they either burned your fingertips off while decorating/stringing, or else melded many-a-fake branch together on the tree.

The kind firefighters lose sleep over in the Christmas months.

I loved the smell of smoldering synthetic pine needles becoming one with the lovely lights draped upon them. It WAS CHRISTMAS, Goddammit.

Okay, I'm not a total asshole. This kind of thing is actually pretty horrific, and has led to real tragedy. I don't miss the danger, just the comforting glow.

Now, I maybe, MAYBE (obviously) can see why there was a shift to those, I dunno, let's call them "safe" and energy efficient lights. I see they may have their place in the world these days. I maybe wouldn't use those old, cozy lights if you paid me a shit ton of money because I don't want harm to come to my loved ones, or to my house. But I still miss 'em.

I miss that warm, rosy glow. I miss REAL white light (that actually glows a soft yellow), and a true red, and a soft blue that doesn't feel like it's sticking it's pretend tongue down my eyeball-throat without asking first.

I've always felt like decorations just don't fill the cold, jaded cockles of my heart any more since the old went out, and the safe came in and replaced it.

And before you start telling me that they make new and improved LED lights that don't suck AS MUCH, I'd just like to say that I don't usually see them after Christmas, when I buy my lights and decorations at 75% off, thankyouverymuch.

Ah well.

At least there's snow. Oh, wait, I live in BC.
At least there's rain? No, that doesn't work.

At least there's Santa? Um... Shit.

Fuck it. Christmas is cancelled here.


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Christmas Insights

I've been thinking a lot lately. A lot. My feeble brain is starting to get overloaded, and annihilating an entire jar of Nutella doesn't seem to be helping. Nor the entire bag of spicy nacho cheese Doritos. (Although I did gain fabulously enticing cheese/onion/garlic breath from the experience, so I can't say it is a total loss).


I have realized that I fucking really hate Christmas shopping with a passion. I hate trying to figure out what to buy people. My family Most people fall into two distinct categories: "Oh, don't buy anything for me, I don't need anything" or "I have everything conceivable and don't need any more shit". There is the odd, rarely spotted third category of "I just don't know what I would like".

In my completely selfish fashion, you know what I wish for, for Christmas? I wish that people would just pick a goddamn charity that I could donate to in their name. We have SO MUCH STUFF. We could probably all go out and buy what we want whenever we want (it's just a matter of how you rationalize it to yourself, admit it). In fact, my dad does this all the time pre-Christmas. He buys stuff before we can.

You know what? I get to do the donating biznazz online. No malls. No angry mobs. No road-ragey parking spot wars.

But in all seriousness, religious or not, if you celebrate the general concept of Christmas, isn't it all about love, sharing, giving? Do you realize that you could donate to thousands of charities out there? Or lend money to someone who wouldn't otherwise have access to funds, if you'd prefer that, like on Kiva?

BF and I started the donation thing a few years ago, and I have found that it is the only part of Christmas that makes me feel good. We buy toys for the toy drive, big bucks go to charity.

If you are struggling to make ends meet, different story. If you have kids and that Santa dude is dropping by and things have been hard this year, different story. But if you have the disposable income, please consider helping out someone else, anyone else. The Red Cross, an animal shelter, a children's organization, a hospital.

Some American ideas here

Some Canadian ideas here

Who? Me? Why, I do declare!

I have realized that part of my Christmas angst is people's selfishness. So I want to be lazy and get the easy way out with charities. See how grinchy loving and selfish selfless I am?

Needless to say, I haven't started my Christmas shopping yet.

[EDIT: Please don't unfollow me... I love you. lol. Back to fun(nier) tomorrow maybe?]

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