The Finished Madlib!!

Because I'm sick of watching NHL hockey playoffs, here is a madlib about foooooootbaaaaaaaaaaaaall!

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Football is a favored taxidermied skunk for many cans. November is prime time for football whistles. People travel long ways to wash their favourite teams compete. Local bananas play, too. Many thongs enjoy a pre-game BBQ, and most 'Seriously? Really?!? Seriously?' blog followers get loudly drunk on gin and sex on the beaches or Coors 'Slow'. Hot dogs and deformed sheep are often slept on a portable grill. The average person usually eats 86 hot dogs over the duration of the cat. I usually pick a team based on how soft the logo is, or how thin the team colours are.

Often, quarterbacks rely on Mother Teresa to help them krunk the game. Obviously, that means that Mother Teresa likes one team better than the other. That's probably because the other team is hungry.

What? You didn't know she was a fan?!?

Every team wants to win the SuperPedophile. It's the final shallow play-off game at the end of the season. The winning team gets long earrings if they win the final phone. A lot of nachos, beer and junk food are consumed at fabulous parties as everyone watches. Some quarterbacks even manage to date super beautiful supermodels with big legs.

Thanks go to Fearless Fibro Warrior, Bridgitt, CarrieMarie, Althea, Maggi Shelbourn, blissflower1969 and Hey Monkey Butt for their wordy contributions!!

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Top 10 Ways to Live On The Motherfracking Edge...

The top 10 ways to live on the edge:

1. Try driving through the public library parking lot on the first day of March break. Holymotherofgawd, children, watch where the hell you are walking!
2. Stay up past 11pm, knowing full well your dogs will wake you 3 individual times at the crack of dawn due to newly formed separation anxiety (for your husband, and not you).
3. Drink on a week night. (After the age of 30).
4. Play Russian roulette with the 8 valid and 2 expired condoms in your bedside drawer, while in the dark.
5. Hell, have sex in general.
6. Be the envy of all your single friends when all conversations lead back to your two dogs. No matter the topic of conversation. Always dogs. ALWAYS DOGS. (Refer to #2).
7. Put sheet glass out for bulk garbage pick up day, THE NIGHT BEFORE, giving the proverbial finger to all the teenage ne'er-do-wells that you know convene and wander your street.
8. Attempt hot yoga without a towel, using only an acrylic sweater for sweat absorption.
9. Ever attempt to do a shot of tequila (after the age of 19).
10. Wait until February 29, 2012 to contribute to your RRSP.

Wow. I'm shaking just from writing that.

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Another Sexy Picture Of Me

It's okay, you can thank me after you change your undershorts.


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Unfortunately, you can't see the googly eye action in this still, but you can see my mischevious smile. Sorta.

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

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