Tuesday, December 31, 2013

I Should Be Sleeping...

I am tired. Ever-so-tired.

Yet I am awake, and debating whether or not to finish this glass of red wine.

It came from a box.

I'm a classy   ho   woman.

You guys have NO IDEA how many blog posts I have written in my head as I have been trying to sleep. Or not sleeping. Or nearing sleep. Or feeding the baby with my ever-deflating boobs.

Yet I never seem to make it here to publish ANY OF THAT GENIUS content.

Things like my dog randomly shitting on the floor. My child randomly puking on my chest. My husband randomly getting me pregnant again.

Hahaha, just kidding, that last one is disgusting. And also untrue.

I seem to be living in a world where meals are luxury and taking a poop is only negotiable depending on the mood of the kid.

Don't get me wrong, lil blue eyes here is totally worth it. It's just an adjustment. And I may have been selfish and selected this pic because I don't look horrid in it. She is adorable, if not startled a bit by the flash, lol.

And I have sort of turned into the mom-blog, much to my dismay, simply because that wasn't what I set out to do here (not that there is anything wrong with mom blogging, but my existing.. uh... customer base? Following? Mom and Dad who still read this? Probably aren't interested in my such mundane adventures.)

I feel like it would be really beneficial for me to get back to the what-the-f_ckery of my posts of days past. But time is at a serious mothers_cking premium, because I can never seem to get my shit together (or the laundry done, for that matter). All I can do is try, but I SUCK at follow through.

How was your Christmas?

I got a Keurig, and I am so happy that I will hopefully not make a shitty cup/pot of coffee again. My poor new mom friends have been subjected (more than once) to me losing count of the spoonfuls of coffee grinds in my old machine, to horrendous results.

Anyway, I hope to make it back more often, even if that means less sleep. I got a new fangled iPad mini for Christmas (total luxury splurge) and I hope to find a program where I can draw on it with a stylus (anyone know of such an app?). You will all be subjected to my shit animations, like this old classic.

Okay, so this post was about nothing, but I am interested to hear about your holidays. You know, if anyone else out there still reads me.

Happy Yule Logs, etc.

Pin It Now!


  1. It's a plot. They never tell people about the sleep deprivation. And the insanity that comes from it. Occasional acts of sheer genius/desperations, true. Because otherwise the human race would die out in a generation or so. Finish the glass, it's good for you. Thanks for the flashbacks. One is a nightmare (I'm tall) the other I hadn't seen. There any number of such apps. Paper has great reviews. I played with Skitch but didn't like it after they changed it. Why, oh why must things change?? I liked things the way they were before they obsoleted my iPhone 4. Good thing I didn't "upgrade" to iOS 7, but now my apps are all going obsolete. I hate seeing the update notices knowing they are only for 7 stuff. Bah!

    1. @Keith - I read your mind and finished the glass before I saw your reply! ; )
      Thanks for the app recommendations! I feel so lost with Apple products... it's all new to me. And I HATE it when updates ruin a good thing, dammit.

  2. still reading. i would never abandon my canadian name sister. even if she did pop out a tiny human. my holidays were tiring. learning to live with RA is proving harder than i thought. but i'm working on it. ALSO that tiny human is fucking adorable and you are too.

    1. @steph gas - Yay! Glad you're here. And RA is bullshit, sista. You are too young for that battle. Holidays are tiring, aren't they? I'm getting less sleep and less done.
      And you're pretty cute yourself!

  3. Replies
    1. @Carmen - woot woot! I also have you to thank for those Facebook buy sites. I have bought sooo much stuff, the hubby is nearly banning me from looking any more! Used baby stuff rocks, yo!

  4. I'm new here. I also have a five month old. And a just turning three year old. And a twelve year old. I feel like I can never ever get my shit together, no matter how good my intentions. All the while wondering how other mothers make it look so easy. Like today for example, wanted to get the house reasonably clean for New Years. Going out? Hahaha. So yeah. After feeding, dealing with tantrum, changing diapers, dealing with tantrum, feeding again...still in jammies (everyone)...I decide now is the time! Tantrum time!! wrong time!! Ok, good to go! Stepped in cat piss!!! After cleaning that up...found almost 3 year old had smeared banana everywhere. Fought to maintain sanity. Possibly losing. Cleaned that up. Oh look, the baby is awake!! Those silly books that say babies will nap for 1-2 hours!!! Anyways, checked your blog...felt better. Realized I'm not alone!! Had a few laughs. Blogs are your experiences. This is a pretty big one you're going through. Whatever you decide to blog about, it'll be gold. Just know this mom totally appreciates your mom blogs. :) Happy New Year!!! Excuse the incoherence. 3 hrs sleep will do that.

    1. @Lotonahswifey - Hello there and welcome to the blog! Your flattery will get you EVERYWHERE, hahah.

      I love your honesty and your play by play. While I wish things weren't so nutty for you, I do understand the chaos, and the never-ending stream of "SHIT THAT HAPPENS". I lost it at "stepped in cat piss", ahahahaha.

      Hope your day levels out a bit? Happy New Year to you, too, and thanks for the encouragement!

  5. Still reading! Your wee one is adorable!

  6. I too do the tons of posts in my head but never seem to grab the laptop and post them. At least you have an excuse.

  7. Always drink the wine. I also do pre-coronas and post bailey's shots to round it all out:)

  8. So this is my future. I'm already not sleeping, so I can only imagine what my life will be like when the baby shows up in less than 2 months.


I get far too excited when new comments come in here...