I Dropped The Goddamned Ball Once More...

So... for some time I have been pondering actually purchasing a nice little dot com domain to go along with this ridiculous blogging habit of mine.

Feyoncé™ was always like "WHY?" when I said I should pay money and register this Seriously Really witty shizznat*.

Well folks, I took a little lookie-loo, and someone else registered this shizznit* in February. I dropped the ball and I am not amused. Another Canadian, no less, too.

And I know there is a multitude of fonts and that I didn't invent the goddamn ellipses... but STILL... seeing someone else's blog with the title "Seriously... Really?" in Arial italics in the header doesn't make me happy in the pants, as Aunt Becky would say.

So, sucks to be me. It's not like anyone clicks on my ads. Or like I'll be famous. Or like this is my livelihood or anything. But it would have been neat to have a dedicated URL. I realize it's my own damn fault, and it doesn't really matter. A blog is a blog is a blog, and I never registered.

I also just want to be whiny. So there's that, too.

Oh well, early bird gets the worm. (However, as noted by a friend, S, the second mouse gets the cheese. So now I want cheese).

~~leaves laptop and forages fridge for cheese... "mmmmmmm"~~

*I am not a "homey", nor socially knowledgeable, nor a Snoop Dogg fan, therefore I know not the difference between shizznit and shizznat. Deal with it. Word.
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Inspired By A Meatbag

Sending a shout out to my pal, Organic Meatbag. (Glad yer pup is enjoying spring!)

Question for you all:

What's the difference between a white plastic bag and Michael Jackson?












Wait for it...








Okay....






What's the difference between a white plastic bag and Michael Jackson?




One's white, plastic, and dangerous for children to play with... and the other is used at the grocery store.

I suppose there IS suffocation risk...

WHAT?!?! Too soon? Not soon enough?



You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's Bad . . .?

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StephanieC's Car Tips

Car Tips for Savvy Women (& Men)

(Also refer to: Top 11 Tips: Become An Awesome Winter Driver!)

- Mechanics do not find it particularly cute or endearing when you refer to car problems with the words "thingy" "light thingy" "exclamation point light thingy" or "touchy brakes". You may also discover that you feel like a tool when uttering these words/phrases. They are also thoroughly unhelpful.

- Thank the gawds for that beeping noise "thingy" that reminds your stupid arse that you have, once again, forgotten to turn off your headlights.
Note to HONDA: Please make a similar noise for leaving the trunk open for longer than, say, a day, so as to avoid missing coffee with a friend because the driver was too stupid to realize she [read: ME] left the trunk open for two days in the garage with the intention of removing a bag of dog food. (Resulting in a dead battery. OBVIOUSLY).

- Some people use a parking brake.
Note this.
When you are trying to figure out why your car will not move from it's holdless parking spot in front of the mechanic's, stop revving and think for a moment. Then check the parking brake. Put the car BACK in PARK before removing the parking brake. Drive as normal.

- Always have a set of jumper cables. Never depend on your significant other for them, especially if he/she travels, isn't home very much/avoids you/points and laughs when you leave your trunk open for 2 days.

- Be sure to call your father and ask how to connect the jumper cables/generally what to do/find out how you managed to be so mechanically and automobile inept, despite his mechanic's license and your sister's penchant for shop classes.

- Believe the "low fuel" light. That shit doesn't lie. Usually.

Confucius say: "He who does not see low fuel light will walk a long road to understanding". Okay, I totally made that shit up. OBVIOUSLY.

- Do not agree to flash your boobs for a free ride to the nearest gas station, when proposed on the side of the road. The offering party will likely snicker and drive off without you.

- Make sure your cell phone is charged. Don't rely on your car charger, especially if you've left your trunk open for days.

Look Ma, no hands... operating the car. Also? Smooooooth phone.

- Remember that a bluetooth headset is NOT hands-free if you must search for it for 15 minutes, in order to fish it out from the bottom of your purse with one hand.
(It is also not hands free if you need to unlock your cell phone with a series of numbers, navigate through a menu, select a synching option, and mess around until it is finally functional all the while driving.)
Plan ahead for crap like that, idiot. Also, be aware that many GPS units have built-in bluetooth.

That's it for now.

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