Hard To Buy For Mom? I've Got The Perfect Mother's Day Deal For YOU!

Have you found that Mother's Day has snuck up on you somehow this year?

Tired of the old lame bourbon & cigarettes daisies and teapot go-to gifts for mom?

Well, well, let me tell you that I have found the utmost thoughtful/creative gift-giving for your mom this Mother's Day. It's elegant. It's simple. And despite what you may think of my language or taste, it will not compromise her dignity.

As you may well be aware, I am a girl that loves a good deal. I've previously written about my spa deal experience as well as my other spa deal threesome experience. Perhaps you read my Old Navy post and my irrational love of all things on sale (not in my size)?


These new deal sites like Groupon, TeamBuy, WagJag, Snaggies and DealTicker get me all warm and fuzzy in the pants. Let's say that one purchase alone saved me about $700 plus on wedding flowers.

So, needless to say, I scan these sites regularly. I found this gem. And I thought of you guys.

Oh, and of Mom, of course!


So, MOM, this one's for you:

If you can't read it, it reassures you that the new system brings "elegance", "simplicity" and "dignity" to the procedure of having a hose put up your arse.

I know you are all likely SORELY disappointed that there is a maximum of one voucher per person for the colon cleansing of your lifetime, but never fear! You CAN buy more as gifts!

Get one for mom! Gramma, too! Boss seeming a little anal-retentive lately? Gift her/him as well! Think how dignified and elegant they'll feel!

You can thank me later.

p.s. Is anyone else intrigued by the "+ More" in the spa's name?? Just me?

___

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I Dropped The Goddamned Ball Once More...

So... for some time I have been pondering actually purchasing a nice little dot com domain to go along with this ridiculous blogging habit of mine.

Feyoncé™ was always like "WHY?" when I said I should pay money and register this Seriously Really witty shizznat*.

Well folks, I took a little lookie-loo, and someone else registered this shizznit* in February. I dropped the ball and I am not amused. Another Canadian, no less, too.

And I know there is a multitude of fonts and that I didn't invent the goddamn ellipses... but STILL... seeing someone else's blog with the title "Seriously... Really?" in Arial italics in the header doesn't make me happy in the pants, as Aunt Becky would say.

So, sucks to be me. It's not like anyone clicks on my ads. Or like I'll be famous. Or like this is my livelihood or anything. But it would have been neat to have a dedicated URL. I realize it's my own damn fault, and it doesn't really matter. A blog is a blog is a blog, and I never registered.

I also just want to be whiny. So there's that, too.

Oh well, early bird gets the worm. (However, as noted by a friend, S, the second mouse gets the cheese. So now I want cheese).

~~leaves laptop and forages fridge for cheese... "mmmmmmm"~~

*I am not a "homey", nor socially knowledgeable, nor a Snoop Dogg fan, therefore I know not the difference between shizznit and shizznat. Deal with it. Word.
____

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Inspired By A Meatbag

Sending a shout out to my pal, Organic Meatbag. (Glad yer pup is enjoying spring!)

Question for you all:

What's the difference between a white plastic bag and Michael Jackson?












Wait for it...








Okay....






What's the difference between a white plastic bag and Michael Jackson?




One's white, plastic, and dangerous for children to play with... and the other is used at the grocery store.

I suppose there IS suffocation risk...

WHAT?!?! Too soon? Not soon enough?



You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
You Know It
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

You Know I'm Bad, I'm Bad-
Come On, You Know
(Bad Bad-Really, Really Bad)

And The Whole World Has To Answer Right Now Just To Tell You Once Again,
Who's Bad . . .?

_______

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