Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I had the recent pleasure of buying a... wait for it... KING-SIZED Aero chocolate bar (you know, "candy bar" for my American friends).

I then had the displeasure of having said Aero chocolate bar melt in my car.

Not to be deterred by a little melty-ness, I tried to open the package, but the high quality  pure milk chocolate    pure chocolate   chocolate-like-chocolate   modified milk ingredients had deteriorated into a tube of liquid poo-like contents, reminiscent of the soggy-poop-yard-waste-clean-up of days past.

So I refrigerated that shit as fast as I could, planning to  healthfully  obviously eat the "chocolate" bar for dinner.

Once solidified, I intended to eat it as fast as I could, with no witnesses, so the calories wouldn't count as much. (That's how it works, right?)

Fresh out of the fridge, utter disappointment = half a chocolate bar.

Anyway, Aero is bullshit. There's a reason there are air bubbles inside. Check the grams (or ounces) on the bar, peoples! You are eating AIR!

You pay the same as you do for other types of bars, but you're a sucker because you're paying for nothingness!!

Once it melts you are left with half a freakin' chocolate bar. All air and little chocolate bar makes Stephanie a dull boy. No wait. REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM.

Oh, forget it.

At least it explains all that flatulence....

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  1. Uck. Seeing that picture actually puts me off from eating chocolate. I'll make of note of not being cheapskated by the aero (more like "zero") stuff.

  2. eep! next time go for hershey's...

  3. Disappointment in chocolate is one of the most horrible things I can imagine...

  4. yep looks like a dog turd...with a fart that never hit the air...as such.
    my aero bar chocolate days were over a few years back when the exact same thing happened to me..the melty thing...criminal behaviour trying to convince us that we can 'taste the air'.
    good public service announcement!

  5. And that is why I try to never let my chocolate melt. (good to see you have the same theory about calories as I do)

  6. I'm looking at this thing... you still ate it right? Because otherwise you would have paid for not even a half of a bar, but just the air.

    Just sayin'.

  7. On Monday I had 2 full sized Hershey's bars and a 4-piece Ghirardelli bar. I'll probably be eating some type of chocolate scrumptiousness today as well, not counting the teaspoon of chocolate icing I'm sure I'll have when I get tonight.

    Can you say fat ass?

  8. don't mess with my chocolate i don't want no freakin air bubbles give me a good old fashion hershey bar anyday

  9. no nonononononono. mint aero bars are one of my absolute fave things ever. i first had one on a school trip to canada and they didn't sell them in new york. while awesome husband and i lived in florida, we lived in a high tourist area with lots of brits so we had lots of interesting candies, like aero bars and wine gums and fucking curly whirlys which i also love dearly. and cadbury flake. mhmmmm.

    anyway, now that we're moved back to new york, i'm TRHILLED to discover that some local shops are carrying nestle mint aero bars. hershey's is trying to jump on that bubbly bandwagon with their air delight kisses and bars. NOWHERE near as delicious as aero.

    seriously craving mint aero now. damn you stephanie c. (btw, i should be stephanie a. then you can be stephanie 'canada' and i can be stephanie 'america'. obvs.)


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