Peed in the shower? At the gym? While wearing socks?
Nah, me neither.
Absolutely had to use your finger to get something out of your nose that wouldn't budge? Wiping it on a Kleenex, of course, and washing your hands afterwards.
No, I know, who would do that? Ewww.
Sharted your pants, either because you held it in too long, surprised yourself with the speed/forcefulness of air, or forgot you had that burrito yesterday?
Me? No, never, that's just... um... wrong.
Been so drunk in your teens that you peed in the bar line-up, were denied entry to the bar, then defiantly told the bouncers that you were NOT drunk and that you felt JUST fine and did NOTHING wrong?
Wow, would that ever be embarrassing. Good thing none of us have ever done something so foolish... right?
Freshened up your your lady bits with Kleenex that had unknowingly come into contact with glitter from a Halloween make-up kit in your purse, immediately before having a pelvic exam?
Noooo, me neither. Could you imagine the look on the doctor's face? And what my your response would be when you have no idea of what is going on?
Nearly screamed out loud because you thought there was a spider beside you, in your peripheral vision, only to realize it was a shadow/shrub/your sunglasses/the car next to you in traffic/nothing at all?
No, I would never do that. That's just... heh... silly.
Ever wonder how many people would have to be on their phones, click over to someone else on call waiting, and keep having this patten continue until the telecommunications systems burst into flames all over the world?
No? Alone on this one?
Had to clean a co-worker's poop off the toilet bowl, absolutely horrified, repulsed, disgusted and near sick, simply so the co-workers that come in after you don't think that YOU made that nasty mess?
Okay... seriously, I have done this several times and it makes me wanna vomit. One guy in our office... I do not KNOW WHAT he eats, but he needs to switch something up and cut down on his glue intake.
Okay, that's all she wrote for now. Had to bump down the depressing post below (though in truth I am not feeling much better and the battle continues).
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