Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Obligatory Here's A Post, Post

My ridiculous Blogger ego (separate from that of my real life) likes to think that you crazy people who read this shit want to see a post every few days.

It's either keep you happy, or have you abandon me, leaving me with 18 dogs, a twitch, various mood disorders and the title "crazy alone dog lady down the street".

So.... here it is. An obligatory mid-week post.

I've felt so weak and so tired the past few days, it's weird.

No really, I feel awesome, I'm just trying out my Jack Nicholson impression.

My uterus is not being occupied, if you were concerned, but it is currently punching me internally and cramping me to fetal-position-proportions.

You are welcome for the TMI.

Caaaamon, put 'em uuup, put 'em uuuuuup... (Image source, I think? Do you really care, anyway?)

I've been asked to do a couple guest posts, and wouldn't you damn well believe that my mind has subsequently, efficiently and hopelessly gone blanker than it already was.

So that's kind of awesome, to fail before you even begin.

See, this is why I post dog poop charts and stuff.

Maybe my iron is low. Thing is, I am too tired to worry about making ANOTHER appointment to have more tests done. I think I have reached my lifetime quota on that one. Seriously.

Okay, that is a decent sized post, and you got two pictures. Now I am going to try to eat. Try being the operative word.

If I puke it all back up, I'll be sure to blog about it and let you know.

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  1. I'm reading a lot of other blogs right now and still can't come up with anything to write.

  2. @George - You don't even get to complain about your uterus. Damn. Make a top ten list of something random. Like "Top Ten Things I Can't Think Of To Elaborate On In A Blog Post"...

  3. Yea, some of us (me) need something to comment on every few days or our heads might explode. I hope your uterus stops giving you trouble.. I don't have one but can't imagine that sucker would be pleasant to live with if it misbehaved. A friend got seriously messed up by using Depo Provera (sp?) to the point she considered a Hysterectomy. I hope you aren't using that.

  4. i hate when i can't think of anything to blog about. but all i need to do is go to the grocery store and undoubtedly something weird will happen because i am socially inept and i ATTRACT WEIRDNESS.

    my uterus and i aren't speaking right now. because she is an evil, evil bitch.

    feel better soon!! xoxo

  5. @V-Tom - See, you feed right into my Blogger ego...

    @jess - I think mine is an evil bitch, too. Wrapped in a sadistical whoreface. Topped with a spicy red-pepper sauce. (I don't know), but thanks!

    I have other stuff I could blog about, but don't have the energy or the humour lying around anywhere.

  6. i'm so with you on doctors and tests. lately, i've had more of them then kim kardashian has had dates. i'm like a total slut at the radiology office. i'm thinking of buying my own headphones and earplugs for the mri machine so i can at least be fashionable. i mean let's face it, there's not much you can do with a paper gown.

    hope you feel better, puddin'.

  7. Having spent last weekend in a fetal position myself, I'm sending all my sympathy your way. Hang in there. Awesome picture :P

  8. I am sorry you are having cramps. Do you have anything you can take for it (well other than kicking someone and a bottle of scotch) ??

  9. @pattypunker - lol "slut at the radiology office"... Hope you are feeling okay. And I KNOW, RIGHT?!? I say you order a personalized, custom, durable paper gown, so you're never out of style, any MRI machine, anywhere!

    @Chris - Thanks. Whoever said it was beautiful to be a woman was full of shit. Just sayin'.

    @Oilfield Trash - Actually, that kicking someone idea has a certain pleasant, warm-and-fuzzy feeling to it. Think I am gonna have to look into that one. And you're average Tylenol can't touch this, much like MC Hammer.

  10. that sucks a big donkey nut. I hope you get to feeling better!

  11. Hope you feel better soon my dear. Despite the cramps you are still funny and we luv ya!

  12. Congratulations! I'm your 100th follower!! haha!
    I just googled "I hate you walmart" and found your blog. Turns out we BOTH hate walmart. We must be soul-mates :)

  13. Everyone has days/weeks like that...where you just have nothing to write about. That's when I fall back on lists of hot actors/actresses to keep the crowd happy! :-)

  14. Luv ya hun, hope you feel better soon. Dealing with my own womanly crap so I feel for you.
    Blog when you want. Those that leave arent worth trying to hang on to anyway.
    Oh did you see that George has blogged about Uterus? Rather funny so far

  15. Hi, I just discovered your blog and it looks pretty awesome. I'm all about the humor. :)

    I'm your newest follower and would appreciate it if you'd check out my blog as well:

  16. I think you should make friends with a Vicoden supplier. ;-)

  17. @AmberLaShell - Thanks girl... but how are YOU doing?

    @The Empress - Awww, thanks Empress. Good thing I have awesome commenters like you guys to keep me going through the uterus-punching moments.

    @McGriddle Pants - AHHHHHHHHHW MAAAAAAAAAAH GAAAAAWD! 100 followers, holy schmoly! I was waiting, eagerly for this moment. And you found me through my nemesis, Walmart, no less.

    I extend a very very warm welcome to you, a thanks for following AND for posting a comment. It's like divine intervention (you know, if God was Google, or something).

    @Jewels - Nice idea. I'm brutal though... I can't even come up with my own "free pass" list. I'll have some good blog fodder soon, though. I think.

  18. @Mynx - Us women never catch a break at nearly any age, do we? Thanks for the warm wishes. I hope your problems are manageable, as well.

    Thanks for the head's up about George’s male uterine perspective! A brave man, he is.

    @Shannon - Why hello there, and welcome! Thanks for stopping by and catapulting me past 100 followers! Humour is what we all need, without a doubt. Will check out your site.

    @On My Soapbox - That sounds like a FABULOUS idea! Do you know any?!??!!?

  19. Ouch. I'm sorry to hear about this, Stephanie...

    I'm fine with the two pictures and the sizeable post! Thanks for thinking of us readers! :-)

    I really hope you feel better soon.

    -Barb the French Bean

  20. Poor girl...hope you feel better soon...blahhhh....

  21. I came over to your blog to avoid posting my own mid-week-please-don't-leave-me-PLEASE-post.

    Hooray procrastination- I MEAN, inspiration.


  22. "oh, my ovaries" gratuitious bart simpson quote..

    relax, i am so far behind in my reading, i kinda wish more people had some writers cramp, er uh i mean block...

    nyquil and chicken noodle soup!

    hope you feel better soon!

    Bruce Johnson JADIP
    Evil Twin
    stupid stuff I see and hear
    The Dreamodeling Guy
    The Guy Book
    The Guy Book

  23. Hi Stephanie,

    While I cannot say I know the feeling when it comes to uterus(s), I do know what it feels to be not up for a post. It happens to me at least four times a week, sometimes seven. So yeah. I get it.

    Don't worry on my account if you don't post some obligatory amount. I have a hard time making my rounds these days myself, so it's not like you owe anything. :)

    All credit is due, therefore, for going ahead and writing an honest post.

  24. you might be lethargic and a bit blank, but we still love you. Dog poop and all.

  25. @Barb the French Bean - Thanks for the kind words, Barb. Things have gotten worse, but whateve. I'll survive, though tomorrow will be rough. Hope you are well!

    @Organic Meatbag - Thanks man. I promise no more TMI posts. Okay... I'm lying, there will be more, but I will keep it to non-hormonal things. Maybe.

    @Lor - Don't follow my lead! They're leavin' me like it's going out of style!! ;-)

    @bruce - What about wine and napping all day long? Nope, Puppy will have NONE of that. The napping I mean (I would NEVER share my wine). ;-0

  26. @Richard G. Crockett - At least you have school work and lots of other things occupying space in your brain. I think that makes it harder sometimes. And it would seem that honesty has ALSO punched me in one form or another... but so be it.

    @Storm. Kat Storm. - Thanks, girl. That made my day. :-)


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