Thursday, December 29, 2011

Awesome things to come home to after holiday travelling

In no particular order:

- A 15 degree C house
- Not a single voicemail message, and ONLY ONE MISSED CALL
- Aforementioned call being from a telemarketer
- An extreme terror of touching any and all surfaces following a full viewing of the movie "Contagion" on the airplane ride home
- A hangover/raging headache from nine shots of vodka in the Air Canada Maple Leaf Lounge to calm your pre-flight nerves
- A toboggan-esque drive home from the airport
- Discovering your new boots have absolutely no tread and/or grip, and faceplanting in your driveway/the airport parking lot/the sidewalk
-Your Wii Fit officially proclaiming you "obese"
- Finding your Christmas chocolates frozen
- Realizing your pre-holiday baking was left out on the counter and not, in fact, frozen as intended, thereby becoming ruined and inedible

Happy f_cking new year.

I hope those damn Mayans are spot on with their predictions.



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12 comments:

  1. I hope they're wrong....don't want to miss posts like this that make me want to laugh and cry all at the same time.

    You are amazing!

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  2. Not good things to come home to. Just hope those boots are fabulous even if they have no grip.

    And we love you and missed you.

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  3. Some of those are good things. The phone stuff for instance. Some are easily cured. The 15C house, for instance. Some are good, like chocolate, which by definition is good, even if it is frozen. Some are hilarious, on first reading, with no coffee yet and eyes not quite fully open. I had a couple weird seconds wondering what new boobs had to do with falling on the driveway. Some are misplaced, like the Contagion fear. It's just a movie. Read about Black Death, or the Spanish Flu in 1918, and then you'll really get the willies. Oh, crap. I was trying to cheer you up, and that last will ruin your month. Sorry.

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  4. There are new boots? Can we see pictures? :D

    You know, to distract you from the frozen chocolates and non-frozen baking, and give the rest of us a fashion update.

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  5. No voicemail is awesome at work, but disappointing at home. Happy new year Stephanie!

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  6. To hell with the Mayans! I'm worried about the Urans...

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  7. It is strange how a day of disaster can be so funny later. I took too many pills on a flight and had my head on the tray all the way home. It was so embarrassing.

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  8. Ah, I HATE when my Wii Fit tells me gleefully that I'm overweight. Seriously, why doesn't it just say "You're a big fat fattie."? And I hear you on the voicemail. I mean...2 weeks away? And NO ONE called me? Huh.

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  9. Ooooof that sucks. I refuse to watch contagion, for that reason.

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  10. They showed Contagion on the friggin plane?!? Good god, that's just mean.

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  11. LOL yeah, i agree w/ sacred. who picks out contagion for the plane movie? shouldn't SOMEONE have thought "hmmm. ppl trapped in a flying tube of germville. maybe this is NOT the best choice for the inflight..."?!?

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