Sunday, December 18, 2011

"Roast Drippings" = Turkey Bath Water

I just saw a commercial for Turkey gravy additive.

All you do is use the Club House mix and "add in roast drippings".


All the fat and hunks of fatty flesh just plop out of the turkey pan into the gravy boat.

All I can imagine is the dirty bath water after the turkey's been in there for a while. It's leg hairs from shaving. The remnants of it's bath fizz. A few errant feathers (you know how they always clog up the drain).

A vegetarian mind works so much differently than a "normal" brain.

Roast drippings is just a nice way to say "grossness left in the pan.... possibly fecal matter. EAT UP!"

Having said that, I'm off to drink a Dr. Pepper for breakfast, and think about possibly eating real food. But food that doesn't contain roast drippings, just so we're clear.

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  1. Hahhaha I'm a veg too (and I forgot you are one), so when I started reading this post I went BLLEHHHHHHH and was trying to figure out a way to politely comment on it while expressing the fact that "roast drippings" make me wanna curl up and die.

    Glad we're on the same page.

  2. @Gia - I have a feeling that this will not be a highly-commented-upon-post. Yeah, even the commercial makes me queasy. And one of the women keeps double-dipping her licked finger. GAH.

  3. My mother went all vegan about a year ago, and her constant disgust at all things animal is starting to rub off on me. Thank YOU for that lovely imagery. Ha ha ha.

  4. i have to get this out there first: double dipping is NEVER okay unless you have previously cleared it with all parties involved. the fact that one of the women in the commercial was double dipping makes me distrust the entire company.

    now, depending what you are cooking, pan drippings can be delicious and full of flavor. i make mean gravy with pot roast. however, i have never seen enough quality drippings from a turkey to make good gravy. which is why shit like that exists.

    also: i doubt turkeys shave their legs.

  5. I haven't seen that commercial. There are advantages to not having cable TV. That gravy additive sounds gross. Who knows what they've put in there? Gravy itself is good stuff, if you're a meat eater, like I am most of the time. Organic, range fed meat, like bison or lamb or chicken, that did NOT go to a commercial slaughterhouse.

  6. now THAT'S how you sell turkey gravy additive ;)

  7. Your supposed to siphon off all of the fat before you make gravy. You keep the other rendered fluids and fond on the bottom of the pan. Fond = Flavor.

  8. @Leauxra - The more you think about it (or, okay, the more I think about it, the more gross it seems!

    @steph gas - More stomach-churning and nauseating than delicious and full of flavour for a veggie. And the double dipping is just grossness. Agreed. And I am POSITIVE THEY SHAVE THEIR LEGS!

    @Keith - I can't get on board with any of those options, but like the idea of organic, not commercially slaughtered. I have eaten a similar "fake" version of the gravy. It's just full of chemicals. Nothing natural at all.

    @Kage - I DO hope this was the antithesis of a sales pitch. I was so repulsed by the commercial. Just... yuck.

    @George - FOND = blargh. I never ever want to know how to make proper gravy. Won't do it. Poor hubs and future-not-yet-conceived-children.

  9. I guess I'm jsut a weirdo, because Turkey Bath Water doesn't sond gross to me... and they dont' have their feathers when you buy them from the store, silly girl!

  10. I'm vegetarian and haven't eaten a turkey in years. But my mom makes amazing gravy with roast drippings and mushrooms. It's one of the few things that I really miss!

  11. I could never be a veg. I love meat way too much. However, your description of pan drippings is pretty accurate and I also find it gross. Good thing I don't eat gravy!

  12. @Kat Storm - I am certain they have their feathers on still. It's what they shave off in the bath. Just picture it. Like Ernie singing "Rubber Ducky" but with more bird.

    @Stephanie - I don't miss "real" gravy... but I *DO* like the salty chemical replacements you can buy. Have you tried them? My mom always makes a separate vegetarian gravy for me and my sis.

    @Michael - I hear that a lot. I realize I am in the minority around meat. It just bothers me so much when I think about it. Have you ever seen Gobbles from South Park? lol.


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