Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Christmas Now? No. Just... No.


I was shopping for teddy bears as wedding gifts at the start of October, and damned if the next aisle over wasn't Christmas wrapping paper and decorations.

Just... no.

I'm pretty sure that Christmas is relegated to December. De-mother-effing-cember. That means the stores are allowing 20% of the year to be Christmas. Just... no.

There were Christmas commercials on at the local drug store today. And, in fact, I heard some in a department store on the weekend. It was October. Halloween hadn't even happened yet.

Another piss off - why are so many Halloween costumes just a pretense to dress provocatively? Seriously? There is so much T & A, it's hard to compete!

Admittedly, Christmas is not my favourite holiday, for a multitude of reasons. But I STILL think that shit is overkill (the music and decorations, not the costume).

Where's the specialness of Christmas carols when it's drilled into your head for TWO to THREE ENTIRE MONTHS before the actual day? For that reason alone, I don't think I could survive a career in retail, unless I was stocking shelves and allowed to wear an MP3 player.

Just... damn. No.

Let there be snow! Let it be closer to the holidays, when it will feel special! Don't buy into the commercialism bullshit. There is no perfect gift, the kids will always want more, and your Dad will NEVER give you gift ideas, but will instead buy car parts before Christmas, thereby allowing you to contribute to the car fund, less inundate him with even MORE Swiss Chalet restaurant gift cards.

But I digress.


Let Christmas start in December. Hell, December 10th. (The new Husband stated that date, and I like it.)

All this early holiday aural/visual assault just jades me more and turns my lip  farther  up in a sneer.

Bah Humbug.

I think I am in love with Mark Lawrence, of the UK. He's my hero. This is his brilliance.  Check out his website here.

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  1. The cards are brilliant. I want them.

  2. I definitely agree. And it just seems to start earlier and earlier. Thanksgiving has pretty much become a forgotten holiday. We go straight from Halloween to Christmas.

    December 10th IS a good date. I think I'm going to ignore Christmas until then.

  3. I worked in a mall one holiday season. The Christmas music started getting cycled in at the end of September. The place I worked required the decorations to go up by the 1st of October. OC-Tucking-FOBER.

    I had Christmas songs in my head for three years after that. It has kind of lost its sparkle since then.

  4. @Ach du lieber - I KNOW! Me, too, but I can't find a purchase link. Just his portfolio link.

    @gotjack28 - Looks like Christmas came early for you with little mousie! But yes, let's stay true to December 10th and see what happens!

    @Leauxra - I worked the mall for about 5 years in a row. Right across from the food court (thus, extra loud speakers), and I was ready to DESTROY Santa leaving my Christmas Eve shift at 5pm.

    I really think retail was the final nail in that coffin.

  5. Xmas doesn't start until after Thanksgiving. Right now, I'm ramping up on pilgrims, stereotypical indians, and turkey things galore.

    Christmas can wait, dammit.

  6. Perhaps if they could find a way to work more T&A into Christmas it wouldn't be so bad.

  7. Oh, wow. I thought that Octobermas (yes, that's what I'm calling seeing Christmas decorations in October) was limited to the States. Canada, too?

    After living in France for two years, where the French reasonably limit Christmas to December itself, I felt my jaw drop when I saw a display of Spanish cider and Italian fruitcake on October 10th!

  8. awww i loooove the card, and yes i am over xmas for so many reasons as well, reasons of which i will not go into here...
    white shoes....omfg....i H-A-T-E white shoes..people who wear them, especially men are fucked.up.
    jeez, dan, anger management issues...

  9. Thought of you on my way to work this morning...
    Was walking past the M&M store in Times Square... they have a mother effing Chritmas tree in the window. And not a mini one. This is one that should be in someone's house.

    Without thought and out loud I said: Seriously?


    p.s. I took off the word verification thing. That shiz is annoying!

  10. December 10th. I marked it on my calendar.

    I'm new here, but just so you know: I'm a follower. I'll do whatever you say. Please don't give me Kool-Aid.

  11. @Lost.in.Idaho - Us Canadian suckers have Thanksgiving in early October, so we can't even use that to hold us over between Halloween and Christmas!

    @Tom G. - You might be right on that. Perhaps I wouldn't mind it so much...

    @Barb The French Bean - Octobermas! It's so true! Those people were TWO ENTIRE MONTHS ahead of my new schedule. WTH?!?

    @Dan - We all have anger management issues around this area of the interwebz...

  12. @gotjack28 - Your comment is fantastic because:
    A) Someone thought of me in another country for a crazy-post reason
    B) Viva la December 10th! Is my new catch phrase
    C) You uttered the terms "Seriously?" in all its splendor, as this blog hopes to do
    D) Yay to no word verification!!

    @becca - I know, right? The guy's a bloody genius!

    @thoughtsappear - Thanks for taking the time to introduce yourself a leave a comment. Also? I typically spike the 10-calorie vitamin water. The Kool aid is just so much work, what with the adding sugar and stirring and stuff...

  13. I put up my tree today. On November 25th. I'm sorry. If only I'd known about your blog before yesterday, we might have been able to avoid this depressing turn of events.


I get far too excited when new comments come in here...