Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Top 10 Things I Can Stop Worrying About, Post-Wedding

Besides the crippling anxiety, endless list of to do's, and second-guessing every decision ever made, here is a list of the Top 10 Things I Can Stop Worrying About, now that the wedding is over:

  1. Backne/clogged pores anywhere/not showering fast enough after hot yoga, thereby compromising my ability to stay clogged-pore-free as my body mutates to destroy my complexion.
  2. Moisturizing the SHIT out of my face.
  3. Doing hot yoga to the point of so-exhausted-I-can-barely-turn-the-car-key-in-the-ignition-and-will-be-too-exhausted-to-shower-when-I-get-home. (See #1).
  4. Tooth whitening. All that damn tooth whitening.
  5. The weather. (It turned out to be a gorgeous, hot, sunny day. The New Husband's luck is wearing off on me! Wooot Woooot!)
  6. Vomiting during the ceremony/photos/reception (no, seriously, I have major nausea issues all the time, non-pregnancy related).
  7. Registering for stuff without feedback from The New Husband. (I should have recognized back then that the only two items he really cared about were the toaster and the luggage. Who knew. Well... I guess he did. Suppose I should have asked him....)
  8. If the seamstress was going to f_ck up my dress alterations again, and ruin the only lace I had to be sewn on the front of the dress.
  9. When to write my speech and what to say. Since I left it until 3:30am the morning of the wedding, now I just get to regret all that I forgot to include and wish I could say so much more to The New Husband. Well played, Stephanie. Well played.
  10. Worrying if I would sound like a drunken sailor, when I surprised The New Husband by singing to him. Did I? Doesn't matter now, too late, it's been done. (James Morrison would possibly be rolling in his grave, you know, if he were dead).

LAaaaaaaaaaaaaa la laaaaaaaaaaaa laaaa la la...

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  1. So um, someday far, far away I'm going to proposition you to plan my wedding. I pay in treats and other edible yummies.

  2. Meanwhile, hubs is keeping a journal. What you looked like pre-and-post wedding. All the beauty rituals you no longer do, now that you're a Mrs.

    Skipping shaving your legs? Yeah, we notice that...

  3. Crazy the things we put ourselves through for one day. Time to relax now and get back to normal.

    Oh and Hubbies don't seem to care that much about things that we care about. I still have to remember this 20 years on

  4. Weddings are so stressful. It's nice you can calm down now. I wouldn't have asked for my husband's input on gifts either. He would have wanted some John Wayne movies.

  5. I had a dream recently about going to class and having not studied or even read the material for a test they were having that day. Wait. I haven't been in school for more than a decade. Ack.

    I am pretty sure that if I get married, I am going to elope. Or tell everyone I am going to Vegas, and they can show up or not on their own, please send money.

  6. It's crazy how stressful weddings are, isn't it? Glad you can finally sit back and stop worring!

  7. I was sooo freaking glad when our wedding was over, but I had been so stressed out for so long that it seemed to take a month to finally calm down!

  8. How much do you remember (without the aid of pictures or videotape)? My most vivid memory was explaining to my mom (yeah) how my jump shot (double yeah) was going to be affected by the extra weight on my left hand (seriously?)

    That and my grandmother pantomiming being a burlesque dancer with 2 balloons.

    Oh and people getting sick because it was cold and windy outside.


  9. @Michael - I can give you some fantastic tips, but there are not enough treats in the world that could make me do a wedding again. Ever. EVAAAAAAAAR. - No worries, man. I stopped shaving about 4 years ago. That's why the skirt of my dress was so full. Chewbacca under there.

    @Mynx - I know. It really is insanity, as sane as I tried to stay (I failed).

    @Belle - No, see, I felt I *HAD* to ask him about everything, when really, he didn't care at all. He's so easy going. And I'm not sure what "normal" is for me. lol.

  10. @Leauxra - DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT! If I had my way, we would have eloped (well, with our parents). It was a perfect day, but it was a stressful 8-month planning period. It's just nuts. The pressure to spend on everything or be judged... all the extra expenses... all the opinions... ELOOOOPE!

    @lisa from insignificant at best - Yeah, um... about that. I never stop worrying. It sort of sucks balls.

    @Paula - Yeah, I have post-wedding blues, apparently. It does take a while to shift back to what life was like before wedding planning. And I swear I wasn't a bridezilla (I don't think?).

    @WilyGuy - That is actually pretty hilarious.

    I can't remember a lot. I remember looking at my plate of food. I remember singing to my guy. I remember part of my dad's speech, and the sentiment of my guy's speech. And jumping REALLY REALLY high like a Masai Warrior on the dance floor, just for fun.

    Thank goodness for photos. Love your tale... thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment!!

  11. I worry about vomming too!! And I think you should post a vid of the singing.

  12. @Gia - I don't actually have the video, and it is probably ear-shatteringly bad.

    I'll see, when and if we convert the mini DV tapes to something my computer can read.



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