Tuesday, September 7, 2010

BF's Shameful Confession

BF shocked me today.

He dropped a bomb, one that I was not ready for.


BF: I did something today that I haven't done in years.

Me: Watched something really perverse/inappropriate online?

BF: No. *looks at me like I am perverted* (I am, it's okay)

Me: What then?

BF: *Long pause* It was a lunch thing.

Me: You didn't eat at all because you were so busy? (In retrospect, should I have been worried he might have responded with something containing the words 'afternoon' and 'delight'?)

BF: *Shame* I ate at McDonald's.

My first thoght was *GASP*. My second thought was about the poor chickens that can't stand because of their under-developed legs and the awful global monsters that I learned about in The Corporation and Food Inc.

My third thought, which I verbalized, was "Did you at least use a coupon?" (we got some in the mail the other day, but it turns out a co-worker lured him to dine for $8.99).

Haha, see how straight my priorities are?

EDIT: This was accidentally cut out yesterday. You have to understand that BF avoids all medication, is a non-soda-drinking, can-stop-after-a-few-bites-of-Cool-Ranch-Doritos-and-won't-eat-the-whole-bag, never-craves-salty-snacks, could-take-or-leave-chocolate, has-never-drank-coffee-or-tea-in-his-lifetime, and would much rather make dinner than go out to eat at a restaurant. Fast food typically makes him sick and he only eats it while under duress (you know, while being held captive against his will), or when forced between business meetings while travelling. And even THEN it is never McDonald's. We've lived near one for 3 years and we've never eaten there. In the 6 years I have known him, he has never eaten there. 

BF: Yeah, a guy at work had one.

Me: How was it?

BF: It was a McChicken. There was nothing on it, except for mayonnaise and a few shards of lettuce. It had no flavour. And the fries used to be good, but they aren't any more.

Me: (Hearing any word starting with "Mc" coming out of his mouth just sounds so wrong).
       *Unsure of how to respond*
I think they had to stop using trans fats or something. And they used to use beef lard - maybe they don't any more. That would affect the taste. Wow.... and I thought I knew you.*

Evil. Worse than Wal-mart? Maybe?

Did I mention how I am not supposed to have dairy or caffeine? Have I also mentioned I have had McDonald's decaf coffee three times in two weeks? Have I also mentioned I shop at Wal-mart, and I hate myself a little more every time I walk through those doors? That I don't feel right making eye contact with the greeter, as it feels like admitting guilt and I would prefer to remain anonymous and feel better somehow? But then again, I never want to hurt the elderly greeter's feelings.

Ahhhh, blinded by coupons, savings and really good decaf. Damn you global masterminds!

* That sentence was a total and utter lie. I think he is more repulsed than I am. He's cute. I'd let him get away with just about anything. And since he doesn't read this blog, the secret is safe with me and my other two followers. lol. Pin It Now!


  1. I just try to avoid McDonald's as often as I can. I used to be a McFatty until I cut it out (I'm still a fatty now, but at least it's not from eating fast food).

    I answered your question on my blog, by the way. ^.^

    -French Bean

  2. Ask BF if he can sample just one piece of fudge when a whole tray is available? If he can take it or leave it, then I don't know my nephew any longer!!!

  3. French Bean - obs very late, but I *did* learn to follow you shortly thereafter. The "follow me" google button only shows up about 1/3 of the time when I am on your site. It's weird.

    Anonymous - BF *claims* he would show self-restraint, perhaps even go for a run in the Winnipeg snow in shorts after having a single bite. I think we both know he is fudging the truth. lol. (See what I did there!! ha!)


I get far too excited when new comments come in here...