Sunday, November 14, 2010

Clearance Minded

So I'm overdue. For a post. A POST people, I am not having any beh-bees or anything.

You know how I knew I should just at least post something? Because... wait for it... you won't believe it... BF said he kept checking and there wasn't a new post up. (WTF??) He usually only reads when forced and/or under duress.

So I had a few ideas in my mind. I've forgotten them all. Wicked. Instead, you get this.

Here's the deal. Yesterday, I went to the mall because I had a 30% off coupon for Old Navy. At least I feel sort of normal there. I glance at the regular priced merchandise, pick out a thing or two that I fancy (did I just say 'fancy' and mean it?) then I beeline it to the clearance section.

That's right. I'll admit it. The front of the store gets in my way. I do the walk/saunter/limp of shame to the back, where all the young, skinny-jean and Ugg wearing 16 year old Naviers roll their eyes because I am looking through "last season's" garb.

See? I practically saved as much as I spent. So.... it's like it zeroes itself out, sorta. Like net zero. Okay, not really.

Does some of it fit? Yes.
Most of it doesn't. But you know what? For the right price/discount, I'll make that shit fit. I'll buy three of them.

What's that? I'm not a size L? No... But IT'S $1.97! Minus 30%! Plus another 30% reduction!! How could I say no?

Logic? I'm sorry what did you just say? What is logic? I'm talking a serious sale bitches! It doesn't matter if it is fuchsia and XXL. It's only $2. I can paint in it (you know, in case I make a mess or something), or sleep in it. (Poor BF, I know... another day, another post).

How true it is... how true it is     (Photo Credit)

Last weekend I went to the GAP to get jeans that fit me. WHOA. They have redesigned it since I shopped for pleasure (what are we at now, about a year and a half of illness? sounds about right). I felt like your friendly neighbourhood GAP was all haute couture or something. It took me an eternity to find the sale section. And I feel incomplete unless I have fully scanned the sale section. (Unfortunately, BF was with me and had to endure this).

The sales clerks could tell I was "one of them". Having worked in the retail industry, I know how pushy a clerk is supposed to be. But not to me. They cud tell I wuz small beens and weren't thar to shop for denim coveralls at full price! Heck naw!

We are better than you. Go away.

THE MOTHER has taught me a great many things, and getting a good deal is one that I have eagerly and wholeheartedly adopted for myself.

Winners/T.J. Maxx/Ross Dress For Less = Jizz in my pants or, rather, jizz in my pants (NSFW?).

THE MOTHER, my sister and I have driven three hours across the border, paid toll charges, paid in American dollars with a crap exchange rate and gone to some of the stores IN SEARCH OF THE DEAL.

It's a sickness, but at least it is genetic and I am not alone in it.

It's funny because while I generally refuse to pay more for something than it is worth, I won't hesitate to overspend on gifts for other people. Or travel.

It's either
A) I see the value in myself as that of something on the clearance rack
B) I just really love a good deal and was raised that way
C) I don't know. Just seemed like there should be another option.


I intended to buy clothes that fit my body right now, since I kinda look like a bag lady at times, at work. Oh well, I started with good intentions. Now I have more clothes in size large. Awesome. I also return shit like crazy, so....

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  1. Getting a deal is great and places like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc totally rock. Who the hell wants to pay full price for stuff when you don't have to? I've reeled it in a bit and now only buy things that I love and that fit AND are on sale. Then it is totally a 'jizz in the pants' experience! Have a great week : )

  2. *The Empress - i keep telling myself that those should be the rules, but then I feel tired and buy the lot
    *bows in Wayne's World style to The Empress* - I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!

  3. I love getting deals but I am not a very smart shopper. I don't seek out deals or specials because, frankly, i'm just not good at it. When I do find a special I usually am so happy about it I brag for weeks not realizing smart people find them all the time - not just by dumb luck.


  4. There is never a time when I don't go into a "regular" store, look at the price tag, gasp, and say, "I can get this same shirt for like 8 dollar at Ross!" So yes i love a good deal too...
    Great post!

  5. Oh snap, you just informed me that the clearance is out at Old Navy. Looks like I am going shopping this weekend! Wait, is it the 80% off yet?? Usually they don't have that until after Christmas.

    I think that ten dollars is borderline expensive for a pair of pants. I have really good luck thrift store shopping (years of practice and poorness.) Needless to say, I am appalled when people tell me that they purchased only one purse for $300.

    Gurl, you need to at least purchase things close to your clothing size, silly! I had to buy all new pants this year because my size 2 were too big. *evil laughter* If you ever come to Minneapolis, I am going to take you shopping for cute, super inexpensive skinny people clothes.

  6. I'm an absolute nutcase for discount and especially thrift store shopping (and clothing exchanges etc). I almost never buy 'brand new' clothes. Value Village is my Mecca and I've even wrote a guide to thrift store shopping on my blog

    (I promise I only blog-whore if it's relevant to the conversation -

    I can't fathom buying a piece of clothing that costs as much as my car payment, and don't really get people who will.

  7. I went Christmas shopping over the weekend and only planned on picking up a few things until pay day, but there were so many good deals, I got nearly everyone bought for. And I go straight for the clearence racks. Always have and my mother also taught me that :)

  8. I don't want to buy anything unless it is marked down.

  9. i love fuschia and am a xxl from old navy. (hint). i could probably be a regular old xl, but my bewbz try to escape from that size shirt.

    i, too, cannot resist a good clearance sale, not matter how hard i try or how low the bank account is. 'what? that was the money for the cell phone bill? well, they won't turn it off until i'm a FULL two months behind. i'll catch up.'

  10. Oh Steph...I miss you. lol

  11. J. Edwards Wright here for Mother Hen
    Hi, fellow Canadian and SITS Girl!
    My hubby and I went on an anniversary trip to Pennsylvania this summer, where I found out (brace yourself) that there is NO SALES TAX on clothing!!!!
    Target and I became BFFs on this particular trip, but I can think of so many other stores I want to go to sale shop till I drop (which unfortunately doesn't take as long as it used to!).

  12. I really am missing Old Navy right about now. I just may need to buy new jeans in a smaller size and I'm scared to not find anything in France. --.--"

    And sales/clearances are always FTW!

    -Barb the French Bean

  13. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
    (I apologize for
    I can't imagine life without clearance racks!

  14. *First off, sorry peeps. I try to keep on top of the comments 'cause I like the dialogue feel of it all, and I love it when you guys relate (or comment, even if you just say "poop" or something).

    Lots going on for me health wise this week, but hopefully that will mean more answers are on the horizon.

    *Simple Dude - it's always appropriate to boast about a good deal if given an opportunity. lol. Also, BF used to go directly into one of the most expensive stores and just buy whatever. Never considered deals or sales. Now at least he thinks twice because of me, or will comparison shop a tad. (small victory for me!)

    *AmberLaShell - i love you for that. Runs through my mind ALL.THE.TIME, too.

    *Amy - love it, I will sooo hit you up for shopping tips/lessons in your home town. And know what? If I start steroids soon, my skinny jeans aren't gonna fit my soon-to-be-bloated ass. And - um - 80% off?!? WHAAAHHH???

    *Yandie, Goddess of Pickles - "No, not a chance. Take that off and let's never speak of it again." I need an internal voice that will do that. I'd cry if a friend admitted that. lol.

    *Jumble Mash - i love that you admit it, but i am insanely jealous that you are almost done your Christmas shopping. I don't even know (or want) to start.

  15. *George Wells - and that is why you keep impressing me. Awesome!

    *steph gas - i covet your bewbz. Mine are shrinking to grape-like proportions even with all the underwire love in the world. And me, too. Should I be shopping? No. Do I anyway? Ummm. no.....? Okay, yes, yes I do.

    *Barb - is that Communications Centre Barb? Thanks for commenting. It gives me a happy.

    *motherhensnest - i knooow! I worked for a company with a head office in Delaware and I literally had to buy more luggage to bring more stuff home with me. (no tax there) I think I spent, like, 6 hours in Marshalls and I bet I bought at least 10 bras, no more than $2 each. It was love. I miss that place. *reminisces about good old days*. Even bought diamond earrings at Kohl's - no tax!!

    *Barb the French Bean - shopping in France must be tres difficile. Bummer. Get Coffee Bean to ship you some stuff from home maybe?? :-)

    *BettyBo - don't apologize, Ma. You've helped make me the hundredaire that I am today. With lots of ill-fitting clothes. lol ;-).

  16. Yeah, 80. percent. off.

    After the holidays, in January sometime, Old Navy piles out every single clearance item that they have collected in their back rooms all year. They plaster giant signs everywhere, and all the clearance is 50% off THE PRICE ON THE TAG! So it all ends up being 80% off or some nonsense. Awesome nonsense. I've heard that they don't do this at all locations, and it is not advertised (unless you are on their email list). Just drive by every Old Navy in early January.

    Pretty much every Old Navy in this area does it. Maybe they do it early in Canada, and that's what you encountered. I don't know!

  17. Those 16 year old losers have no idea what $2 can buy... a hell of a lot more than a button of their "latest fashions"...

    they label all the newest fashion with "suckaaaaas"... and replace it with "smart person" when it moves to the clearance section... seriously... you should check.

  18. *Sarah With Scissors - i will be sure to check the labels next time. Seriously, really, seriously! I know, kids just don't appreciate the value of a clearance dollar (or the concept of clearance) at all. It's instant gratification these days, so they never have to wait for a sale.

    Wow I sound old now.


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