Sunday, November 7, 2010

I Slayed The Butterfinger!

Oh yeah. Corn, dairy, gluten, wheat, and nuts be damned.

Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger(s).

I tried one of these when was in the U.S.A. many years ago in my youth, (because who could resist Bart Simpson's marketing tactics? And skateboard?) and I fell in love. Hard. Not with him, with the mighty Butterfinger.

Well, I learned last year that my deeply detested, self-loathing-inducer beloved Walmart carries these bad boys in "mini" size at Halloween. Oooooooh Baby. I bought three bags. (Okay, and one bag BEFORE Halloween).

Aaaaah Butterfinger........ *shudder*

Okay, side note, I totally googled "orgasm face" and found this picture immediately. This girl LOOKS like me, appears to have a mark where a nose ring would be (where mine USED to be) and has similar ear piercings in the same spots (but my third lower one is now defunct). If I didn't know any better, I would seriously think this was me. But it is not. Seriously, really, seriously. I even have two yellow towels like that. Day-um.

That also reminds me - I found this naked-artsy picture once and told a friend it was me. It LOOKS like it could have been me. But again, it is not. If I find it, I will post it for you. Because I am sure that would interest you. You pervs.

The partial aftermath (this was bag #2 remnants). (No, this is not the artsy nude photo in my likeness. Though I see how you might confuse a that and a pretty pink trash bag).


I force fed BF perhaps 10 at best. I gave my dad one at a hockey game. I also gave my niece one. I bought three bags of 30 count. That means that approximately 78 of these bastards are making their way (albeit painfully) through my digestive tract, with a direct endgoal of my ass/saddlebaggage.

Stupid lack of self-control + 50% off candy + Bart Simpson + Mmmmmmm chocolate.

I am finally (supposedly) going back to blond(er) tomorrow. Wish me luck because we all know how well salon and spa experiences tend to work out for me.

I hope these babies don't decide to revolt or make some sort of statement while I am sitting in a salon chair with crazy ass foils all over the place at the mall. (Why ARE mall bathrooms always so far away, no matter where you are in the mall??!)

I digress. And by digress I mean "publish, go to bed, and don't look back."

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  1. Lol. I admire your need for chocolate! I sadly can't have a Butterfinger due to my nut allergies, but I totally get you. :-)

    -Barb the French Bean

  2. i enjoy a butterfinger now and again. but for me? it's alllll about the milky way.

    omg. excuse me, i think i need to go and have one for breakfast.

    oh, the good thing about gi distress at the salon? with all the hair driers going, no one will hear you, and if someone is getting a perm... you can't smell shit, so let 'em rip*!!! :P

    *nyaj inc. not responsible for any overheard tooting. please consult your doctor before tooting in public. wait, never mind, your doctor is a tool. just, um, proceed with caution.

  3. MMMM Butterfingers. I haven't had one in a while. May have to go to the store real quick :)

  4. oh sticky crunchy goodness... so bad but oh so good. and bite sized! : )

  5. *Barb the French Bean - i mourn your loss. That must be hard. Is it a severe allergy? Mine is more of a sensitivity. Just get really bad nausea (no surprise there).

    *jess - i was stuck under a dryer, but the lady beside me wasn't... foiled again! haha, I did that, then I realized I actually, also had foils in my hair. Can you tell I am sleep deprived?

    *Jumble Mash - don't delay. You'll want that sugary goodness stuck in the deepest depths of your teeth. I think floss actually FEARS the Butterfinger.

    *carmar76 - you know what? If it was full sized I couldn't justify this gorging... but bite sized seems acceptable somehow....

  6. You're cute Steph.
    And your sister just happens to have a lot of little butterfingers at her house (and I don't mean the kids). I will have to score some for you.

  7. Ummmmm, Butterfingers! I thought everybody knew that Butterfingers = orgasm face.

    Enjoy every last one of those little suckers!

  8. Butterfingers are so ridiculously delicious. It's perfectly fine that you feasted upon them. I could eat three giant bars in a day so it's not like I'm any better. xD

    Good luck with the hair. Or if it already happened (since I suck at time), I hope it went well.

  9. *BettyBo - i am out!! I fished the last one out from under the driver's seat. *desperately seeking sugar I should not be eating*

    *The Empress - thank ye. I enjoyed, with a thick heavily-laden cloak of guilt with every bite. Damn anorexia remnants.

    *Sarah Elizabeth - i feel a strange urge to go you one better and eat four full sized bars, but I don't know where to buy them in Ontario, and I think we all know how THAT story would end.
    And hair turned out somewhere between okay and meh (thanks for the encouragement).

  10. I thought that those bags were one serving size.

  11. *George Wells - i like your thinking, my friend... I like it quite a bit. ;-)

  12. Send me some...i look like that after eating deep fried mars bars


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