Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Bummed Out - Wedding Dress Woes


Yeah, I am getting married in the fall of this year.

I searched high and low, hunted, tried on a bunch of dresses, alone, to try to figure out what styles I liked and what type of dress was in my budget. I ended up buying one (at a good price).

I finally got a photo of me in it not too long ago, and I have come to the conclusion that I do not like the dress. Well, I don't LOVE the dress.

[EDIT: Folks, the money's been spent, it is final sale, it's a DONE DEAL. I'm not buying two dresses!]

There were two others I was undecided on, at a bridal store that had tenants living above the shop who chain-smoked, as all of the garments in the store smelled like cigarette smoke (even in garment bags!).

I have a crazy sensitive nose, so I knew that the odour would drive me batshit crazy(ier), so I ruled them out. I didn't want to spend another $150+ to dry clean out the cigarette smell.

Tonight I looked at side by side pictures, and I'm wondering if I made the wrong choice. The other dress would have been more than double after alterations, but I am thinking it was a much prettier dress. Maybe?

A truly gorgeous gown needs more ties. And tying up. And under-boob.

I knew I would have buyer's remorse to some degree, especially since I decided in a matter of hours to buy the dress I did, without being allowed to take a photo of myself in it (a picture can tell you so much that you can't initially see just in the mirror).

I think it needs a longer train at the back... like this, but longer:

I need a wedding dress with a serious train. Fo' rizzle.

I made two trips to the bridal store, 35 minutes away, in a period of 4 hours to first try it on myself, then come back with my mom, sister and niece to check it out (right before closing time). Normally I take my time and weigh out every possible option. I only impulse buy when it comes to sugary things at the checkout lane in Walmart.

I had hoped to look as stunning as this bride... so close, and yet so far.

Maybe I can make some minor modifications with a local seamstress to make it just a little different at the front. Maybe?

Also? The veil I ordered came in on Monday, and it isn't what I expected. At all.

So yes, I know these things are trivial, but I am feeling really shitty about it right now. So there.

Maybe I'd feel better if it seemed like my tits were trying to fly off in opposite directions?

/ rant, bitch whine.

I hope my wedding make-up looks as nice as this (photo stolen from Moooooooooooooooog, Midget Man of Steel):

Smooth and flawless wedding make-up.

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  1. i liked the first dress best.
    jus sayin
    and the train was a bit too short for my tastes.

    but the best was sjp


    you rock girly loved this post

  2. Oh dear, that's a tough one :/

    Some women design their whole wedding around the dress, you know. So no, it's not trivial, and you're being an excellent sport so far by not insisting on the dress as being central to the whole shebang.

    No exorcism of cigarette smoke from any dress, please. Chances are it won't work, and you simply CAN'T have that at your own wedding.

    I was lucky enough to find a seamstress that made my dress from scratch, *exactly* the way I wanted, plus her PR skills were great (read: "my my, you have some boob there!"). So, for what it's worth, I vote for that option.

  3. you chose the perfect dress, you look beautiful in it, and the veil will work out. :)

  4. I am not sure what made me just puke, the black chic on the dress or the pic of Sarah.

    Good luck with the dress.

  5. @Bruce - Too short, I know!! WTH?

    @Chris - Hell naw, nothing is planned around anything. The only thing that HAD to happen was the space where we are actually getting married. Once that was booked the rest is just fine however...

    I am totes too cheap for a custom gown. And I would totally have regret about it after it was made anyway. It's the way I am.

    @carmar76 - But you haven't seen it!

    @Oilfield Trash - But the post needed more ties and underboob!! And lovely skin (SJP)!

  6. I'm sure it will look gorgeous. Obviously not as hot as the big black pic but u can strive for it no? Lol

  7. The bearded wonder is trying to sell his exes wedding dress... but I'd rather steal it and set it on fire. Just saying.

    I think when (if) I get married, I'm going to do it in my favorite dress.

  8. @Bjames - I'll never be able to rock anything like the woman in the first picture.

    But you know what? I do envy her that she has the confidence to wear the SHIT out of that dress and all its associated ties.

    I've realized that with the dress, along with the ring, that no one would ever actually TELL the bride she doesn't look good.

    SO... meh. Whatever. I need to quit my bitchin'.

  9. Eek...

    Well, whatever you wear, it's gotta be better than the boob-displaying parade I just saw. :-)


  10. great post however those brides choices in dresses scared me so glad i'm over the whole wedding thing. congrats can't wait to hear about yours it will be beautiful i'm sure. hugs

  11. Wow. Those pictures are truly terrifying. I don't envy you the planning of a wedding...but love-well there is something worth going through it all for. I guess? I smell an elopement? A court house marriage? Sorry you are stressing!

  12. you need to love the dress. if you're actually considering the smokey dress even WITH all the smoke, then you do not love this dress.

    OR you can skip the whole traditional wedding thing and go destination - find a beach, invite the closest friends and family, and do it barefoot.

    we talked about that. and i have to tell you, for two people that are as untraditional as awesome husband and me, our wedding turned out pretty traditional. i had a HUGE poofy white dress, a veil and tiara, flowers and tuxes, i let my dad walk me down the aisle... the whole thing. AND I DON'T REGRET A SECOND OF IT.

    that's a lie. i wish i hadn't stepped out to smoke so many cigarettes and i still harbor ill will towards my wedding dj.

    but people will remember your dress, the first song, and the food. really. so fuck everything else.

  13. Gosh, with all those beautiful can a lady decide??!!

    Let's review the options:

    The Tie-Up Under-Boob dress:
    You'll save loads of cash with this barely-there dress because there isn't much fabric to wrap around your body. As an added bonus, the seamstress will throw in extra shoelaces to help hold the almost non-existent fabric...AT NO EXTRA CHARGE! What a deal! This dress is perfect for:
    *hookers without a lot of spare change
    *strippers getting married in a warm climate

    The Amazingly Long Extra-Extra Choo-choo Train dress:
    Did you want to make sure your guests actually put forth some effort before feeding them at the reception? This is your dress! With the 5,280 foot train, all of your guests will have the opportunity to be an active participant in your wedding. They will never, ever forget your beautiful and special day...or the chiropractic bills that will follow.

    The Defying Gravity Corset dress:
    Thumb your nose at Issac Newton by propping up your breasts in a most...obvious fashion. Of course, if you're looking to reinact the SuperBowl "wardrobe malfunction" from a few years back - this is the classiest way to do it. Your husband-to-be will be positively thrilled at the prospect of possibly getting cash donations from the guests for an accidental peepshow from his almost-wife.

    The Sex in the City Creampuff Bird dress:
    Are you having trouble deciding between a tropical or dessert themed wedding? Look no further! With this beautiful, shimmering cremepuff designed dress, you'll look radiantly fluffy and edible. And to top it all off, no pun intended, a fantastical display of vibrant feathers will tie in that tropical bird feel you've been dying to showcase.

    Honestly though, I agree with the previous'll know your dress when you find it. There won't be a doubt. Hang in there - you do have time! No need to rush this decision. :)

  14. i changed my mind on my first dress too. and like you, i just said "ok, this is the one" WAY too fast.

    i ended up selling it on ebay for 1/3 of the price, which was kind of a bummer, but at least i was able to recoup some of the money. at that point, i was dead set against wearing it.

  15. @Barb - I HOPE SO, otherwise that would be pretty bad!

    @becca - Thanks, I need to stop whining.

    @Jewels - I wanted to elope or do it while on vacation recently (I mean, hell, both our parents were already there with us!) but my guy wants the bigger, more traditional deal!

    Of course, being together is the most important thing, but all these details can drive someone crazy. Even if we are trying to do it fairly simply.

  16. @steph gas - I totally hear you on the non-traditional. Believe it or not, we really are fairly non-traditional, too.

    But it will be a wedding with most of the regular things (not all).

    Interesting about your DJ... I've been battling justifying the cost, but I DO want to dance the night away and don't want the DJ to suck.

    @You're Lucky I Don't Have A Gun... & steph gas -

    My dress was final sale, signed, sealed, delivered. I can't justify buying another one when I have been all about being low-key, low-maintenance and low cost so far.

    I suppose in the end I ADORE my ring, so that's the part that I am going to look at/see forever!

  17. @Storm. Kat Storm. - Sorry, I missed you there somehow...

    You will be AMAZED, shocked and AWED how much pressure there is around the dress. It's mostly bullshit, that's why I won't spend money for a second dress... so if you can do it in a dress you already love then AMEN, SISTA! All the power to you! I wish Feyonce had gone for that idea!

    @A Redhead Named Sam - THANK YOU for the laughs. I absolutely adored your breakdown of each option. I had never considered the guests' chiropractic bill and potential legalities/litigation with a dress like that long train one.

    You need to link your webpage back to this comment... it's a blog post on its own!

    My guess is that more than a few chicks in the mid-90s wore a tie-up white outfit like that, they were just smart enough not to scan the photos and put them online. lol.

  18. I've seen like every episode of Say Yes to the Dress and I am already terrified of wedding dress shopping and I'm not even engaged. Its the waiting. I know I'll have my dress WAY ahead of time and I'll keep thinking "Maybe this isn't the one." I wish you could just buy it like the week before your wedding and call it a day.

  19. The dress will look fantastic, because you will be wearing make the doesn't make you :)

  20. OUCH!

    You really should post warning signs if you include close up photos of Sarah Jessica Parker.

  21. @Jumble Mash - I politely requested that Feyoncé watch the show with me, so he could see the crazy-ass folk who pay $9,000+ for a dress. INSANITY!!

    And that is totally it - I have the time, so I am second guessing it.

    @Jody - Awwwwwww, you are sweet. Thanks Jode. It'll be fine in the end, but not mind-blowing, or stunning, or custom. But affordable? YES!

    @Tom G. - On the positive side, she has really nice teeth??

  22. Bahaha.. here I thought you were going to actually show the dress, and I thought "no way, that's not her style, yo." Thanks for not disappointing ;)

  23. I hate to tell you this, but dry cleaning will not get rid of smoke smell....

    Can your current dress be altered in a way that you would like?

    Don't forget that you can find wedding-appropriate dresses in regular stores, too. Anything with the word "wedding" attached to it jacks up the price like 300%. :-)

  24. First of all, Congratulations!!!! Good thing you put that update so I will stop being an enabler and tell you to just go get another dress... No I will not do that. But I just want to let you know that THIS is not trivial, so don't feel bad if you think you are whining or being silly. Now, a veil does not cost as much right? So perhaps you could splurge on a different veil? Agreed with Soapbox. Do you know the designer Jessica McClintock? Whenever I walk by her store in the mall, I wish I had bought one of her dresses for my wedding.

  25. @steph c - Hells naw! I don't want Feyoncé to see it... or my guests, either. No worries, the pictures are on lock down (and by lock down I mean on a file folder on my laptop desktop). lol.

    @On My Soapbox - I am ALL TOO AWARE of the 300% jack-up. It infuriates me and I am doing all I can to not fall victim to it. I might try to alter the top of it a little, if it isn't too pricey.

    @The Absence of Alternatives - Thanks! And no worries, I am still whining. It's what I do best. I remember always coveting a Jessica McClintock prom dres. Instead, I got these bad boys here (grad and prom).

  26. Hmmm. Maybe you should get yourself and Féyonce some custom-made his'n'hers bedazzled underwear. Yours could say 'Motherfucking Princess' then smaller 'for today, and the rest of our goddamn lives'. That way, whenever you feel a little self-conscious on the day you can think about how much your wedding underwear kicks arse!

  27. *a little self-conscious about some part of your dress that you feel isn't perfect or exactly as you pictured as a six year old, banging Barbie and Ken's faces together and screeching 'I do'.


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